SATURDAY, 21 JANUARY 2006
13:11
I am getting bored with my methodology of the past few years: go through the steps of a relatively normal day, observe people and happenings around me, think, make notes, think some more, chat with someone, read something, smoke a cigarette, think again, make more notes …
15:57
Where am I going with my writing?
An intellectual buddha I will never become, and no matter how long I wonder about it, or how many essays I write, the Complete Truth I will never know or understand.
So the question is, where to now?
SUNDAY, 22 JANUARY 2006
For years I have written about exile, identity, roles you can play, purpose in life you can pursue, place in the world, and self-development and self-respect – especially if you are on your own. The exile issue in my life was to a large extent resolved with the “hatchet” notes. My identity, role and purpose, and place in the world have also to a large extent been sorted and defined. And since last year I am not alone anymore.
For the past twelve to eighteen months I have, to a large extent (apologies for the repeated use of the phrase), focused my attention on a vague search for Absolute Truth. This, as I wrote last night, is too big, for me, in my current life.
That means for the first time in years I am presented with a new issue: What am I going to write about now?
SUNDAY, 29 JANUARY 2006
If knowledge can be described as a walled city, then I am but a peasant working the fields around it. And if the Ultimate Truth Concerning All Things can be compared to the layout of the walled city’s intricate streets and the innermost secrets of her splendid and distinguished citizens, then my thoughts are but mutterings to myself about the size of the outer gate, and the depth of the moat surrounding the walls.
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