MONDAY, 5 SEPTEMBER 2005
I should forget about a so-called Ideal Self. I should work on a Better General Situation, Better Quality of Life, Better Health, a Better Income, a Better Bank Balance.
SATURDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER 2005
A guy in a minibus slides over a red light at a T-junction while talking on his cell phone. I lose my temper. Almost immediately I am annoyed with myself for losing my temper. I know anger is a manifestation of powerlessness.
But of what is his action a manifestation? It is all about traffic rules and chaos? Or is it also about people who must take responsibility for others whose lives may be affected by their actions? His action was a manifestation of disrespect toward life that flows in the veins of other people who use the road with him, and whose lives are affected by his blatant irresponsibility.
He represents the kind of person for whom I reserve but one emotion.
MONDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER 2005
Who, what and why have been prominent questions for me the past few years.
“How?” is another important matter.
Examples: How do you function? How do you know anything? How do you choose?
SATURDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER 2005
A problematic situation: private embarrassment; nowhere to hide and regain your dignity.
THURSDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER 2005
09:32
For some time now I have been moaning about dishes and dust and laundry and dirty tiles and chaos that threatens to collapse in on me every day.
Then, last night, as I was busy throwing something away or tidying up somewhere I realised: It is a struggle, and I win as long as chaos does not collapse in on me. And this struggle is a daily challenge.
21:34
The moment of recovery is not when you are 100% motivated and active again, it is when you get up from the couch, switch on the light above your desk, and continue to go through the actions.
FRIDAY, 23 SEPTEMBER 2005
1. I am executor of behaviour, constructive and/or destructive, with Objective X in mind, and/or in the name of Person Y, and/or for the benefit of Person Z.
2. All contemplations and arguments come down to us either being executors of a plan that pre-dates our existence, or we have to be very smart with our lives.
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