Argument of the casual drug user

SATURDAY, 9 OCTOBER 2004

“I am bored, so I need to escape from my boring life by injecting myself with a chemical concoction, or by sniffing or smoking some or other substance. This will induce an alternative consciousness which will make me forget my boring life.

This is not a healthy pursuit. It is also a very expensive and unsustainable way to deal with my boredom. But instead of dealing with it in a healthier, more sustainable and less expensive way, I choose the way that, if I don’t take severe precautions, will make me a slave to the measures I employ to make my boring life bearable.

Fortunately I have learned that using drugs is seen in popular culture as exciting, and people engaging in this kind of activity as fun people to hang around with.

I have also learned that people who frown upon this idiotic, unsustainable, ludicrously expensive way of dealing with one’s own lack of imagination and subsequent boredom are, in actual fact, boring.

I am so relieved that my so-called friends – all fun people, of course! – taught me all these useful pieces of nonsense. I really wouldn’t know how to justify being a casual drug user in any other way – and it is casual, because calling it habitual would just be inaccurate. I mean, I’m not that stupid!”

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