Category: Old age of my youth – 2013

SATURDAY, 24 AUGUST 2013

This morning I thought of how an acquaintance of mine responded to something I had posted on Facebook a year ago. His response can be more or less summarised as, “Who does this guy think he is?”

For a minute or so I reflected on who and what I was in high school: that I did not make much of an impression on people; that my peers probably didn’t expect me of all people to have one or two interesting thoughts that I would write down and feel the need to share with other people.

As one’s brain crackles and groans to turn one thought into another, I wondered about this thing that some people become personal if they don’t like your argument. I always want to say: Don’t look at me; look at the argument. My person doesn’t matter here. The argument must stand or fall on its own value.

I realised that the response of my acquaintance probably wasn’t just about me. Some people simply believe that advice and insights and opinions about matters existential must emanate from the mouths of authority figures. If these people cherish a religious identity, it is to be expected that the figures whose word matters will have religious authority.

What this acquaintance probably meant was: “What authority do you have to say what you are saying? Are you God? Are you Jesus? Are you a writer of a Bible book?”

My response to such a position: Does my argument not make sense? Or: I think my opinion deserves to at least be considered because it is relatively well-laid out, and it makes more or less sense.

But I would imagine the man quivering his hand in a gesture that says: “Silence! Logical arguments are cheap! Every second man or woman on the street can come up with a logical argument! I am talking about authority!”

Then I thought, if something was wrong with my stomach or with my head, or if I got a rash somewhere on my skin, I would want to see a medical professional. I may ask my mother’s advice, or my wife’s or a colleague’s, but it is the person with authority whose opinion will really bear weight.

Is it not the same with matters about what one should do with your life? Does it not make sense that this acquaintance of mine would shake his head, shrug, and ask, “Who are you?”

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The difference is science versus opinion; more specifically, if science provides me with an answer to a question or a problem, I will give more weight to that than to someone’s opinion. For example, if I had a virus, my blood can be tested a hundred times, and the tests would give almost exactly the same result every time. On the other hand, when it comes to the question of what to do with my life, science, as far as I know, cannot help me that much. If I turn to someone with religious authority and ask him what to do with my life, what will he do? He will consult writings written more than a thousand years ago in the case of Islam, and almost two thousand years ago or more than two thousand years ago in the cases of Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism. The writers of these texts certainly had authority in the communities to which they belonged two thousand years ago, but is it reasonable to accept their opinion in today’s world without thinking critically about it or considering one or two alternatives?

To go back to my example: If something is wrong with my stomach or if I get a rash somewhere, will I consult a medical tractate that dates from Julius Caesar’s time, or even further back to the time of Plato or Socrates? Suppose I discover exactly such a piece of literature somewhere in a dusty corner of my bookshelves, I may browse through it if I am desperate or curious enough. There is certainly a chance that there may be a few bits of useful advice. But before I apply coagulated ostrich blood to my eyes, or smear the fresh intestines of a baby crocodile on my sore knee, I would definitely get a second opinion.

So I am not saying the person who is referring to religious writings when looking for an answer to the question of what to do with their lives is primitive. After all, the authors of these texts were respected in their day as authoritative figures. I simply ask: Why not consider a second opinion, especially if the opinion is reasonable and perhaps relatively logical?

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THURSDAY, 22 AUGUST 2013

A project makes it to my list first and foremost because I think I can do something. Even commercial projects are not just on my list because I think I can make money with them. And if something registers in my mind that I can do it, I need to do it. I need to manifest that I can do it.

To have ten projects on my list that I want to work on is not a problem. They’re all in the pipeline. I will eventually get to all of them. But to choose one out of ten means depriving myself of the opportunity to show that I can do the other projects. And this paralyses me at times. I sometimes find it almost impossible to take action until I’ve solved this impasse.

Will all the other projects not still be in the pipeline after I have chosen one? Will they not still be on the list of projects that I will work on later?

Apparently that is not how my brain works.

I am obviously doing something wrong. The way I think is wrong.

A similar thing happens when someone asks something, and I know the answer. A shot of adrenaline immediately shoots through my veins. I must, without delay, manifest that I know!

Still, I’m not in the habit of physically attacking people if they dare share facts that I also know. And it happens often enough that I do focus on one project without excessive mental disturbance for weeks at a time.

What is to be done about this malady that I sometimes suffer from?

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WEDNESDAY, 21 AUGUST 2013

If you want to make it in this world – if you want to achieve important goals you have set for yourself, either financial prosperity, or looking back on your life at 45 or 55 or 65 and thinking you have done all right – you would have to spend the best hours of your day utilising your best skills, working on projects or tasks where your experience and/or natural talents are most prominent.

If you ignore what you do better than anything else for the sake of short-term considerations, the possibility of achieving some success is not entirely excluded, but the probability decreases by the day.

It is a simple strategy: Hit the hardest with what you do best. Or like the poet, W.H. Auden said: “You owe it to us all to get on with what you’re good at.”

THURSDAY, 22 AUGUST 2013

Maybe you don’t like the idea of competition. Perhaps you believe your only race is with yourself. Maybe you think life is not just science and math.

Whatever your feelings about this matter, if you want to make it in this world, you better be ready to compete. For every dollar you want to make, there is another man or woman who has set their eyes on the same dollar. For every product you hope to sell, or for any service you want to offer, there is at least one other man or woman who is working on a similar product or offering a similar service. If you think you know something, just know, someone else probably possesses the exact same knowledge.

What can you do? Is there hope for the average non-genius man or woman who doesn’t have access to inexhaustible resources to make up for their shortcomings?

The hope is this: Focus on your talents, every day. If it is to bake cookies and exchange one fresh dozen after another for cold, hard cash, then do that. If it is playing guitar or composing songs, then you do that. If it is bringing people together and teaching them something they did not know, do that. If it is taking care of people in need, do that. If it is to write poems or essays or stories … then you know what to do. Hit as hard as you can with your number one skill.

What happens if you struggle to make money with your number one skill, or if you are convinced that there is no market for it? Do you sigh, “That’s just how life is,” before you start searching the classified ads for the first and best opportunity to sell your time?

The sentiments I express in this note are not motivated by my belief that a creative life is better than a life where you simply survive from one salary to another. They are motivated by a conviction that your best chance of survival – survival! – is to focus on your best abilities.

Still, if you reckon the best thing you can offer the world has no commercial value, ask yourself: Is there any way you can solve a problem for someone else with your skills or talents? Is there any way you can help someone get to a good place where they want to be? Is there any way you can help someone get away from a place they want to move away from? Even if you don’t make money by solving problems for other people, helping them might improve your life in other ways, including opening opportunities you may never have thought of.

The hard reality is that most of us have to pay for our own bread and butter, and maybe for some other people’s bread and butter too. Sometimes it means engaging in activities where we do not employ our best talents or skills, but it is important not to waste your time. Once you have done what you need to do to put food on the table, get back to the things you do better than most other people. Your survival, and your success in life depend on it.

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FRIDAY, 5 JULY 2013

The MP3 player was developed and has since proven to be a great success because people who were already in the privileged position to own Walkmans and Discmans complained – it could even be said that they moaned – about all the cassettes and discs they always had to carry around.

* * *

I make chips of metal, the size of a large coin. At the end of the working day I push all the chips into a slot, and one fresh NT$100 note comes out at another slot for every chip I made. If I made a mistake with a chip or the quality is inferior, the chip will be rejected and dropped into a drawer at the bottom of the machine. I can then fix the error, or do some more work on the chip, and try again.

Because it takes me about twelve minutes to make each chip, I know I can produce five chips in one hour. I therefore know that I earn NT$500 for one hour’s labour. Although I can make as many chips as I want every day, I usually stop after four or five hours.

There is a clear and direct correlation between my labour and the rewards I receive.

I am thinking about hiring one or two people to make more chips than I can make on my own, which I will feed into the machine, after which I will share the rewards with my two workers.

THURSDAY, 11 JULY 2013

20:03

I am watching a documentary entitled, “Million Dollar Traders”. It is about a group of people, who have already been successful in other professions, who are learning to trade in London’s financial district. The story is the idea of a millionaire investor named Lex van Dam. He has appointed as the group’s manager a 29-year-old guy who has already retired – from trading on the stock exchange.

I look at the “City” people, and a profile develops:

– They like money.

– They are serious about money.

– They respect you if you are also serious about money.

– They get upset if someone is not serious about money, or if they are irresponsible with money, or stupid with money.

– They like to live well – good hotels, first-class airline tickets, exotic vacations, beautiful homes, nice cars, good clothes.

– They generally seem to be conservative in their outlook on life.

– They respect people who have mastered something, or someone who is good at something, or who knows more about something that many people are interested in.

21:47

If the place I want to reach can be called Point 100, I am now more or less at Point 14. Which is not to say that I haven’t made much progress. The “14” that I have achieved thus far is after all hard-won ground.

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TUESDAY, 28 MAY 2013

Why do I write?

To serve a cause?

To try to win an argument?

To make a contribution?

I write, to a large extent, to say one thing: I was here.

WEDNESDAY, 3 JULY 2013

“What am I doing?” I ask myself.

Would the guy in prison ask himself this question? If so, what would he answer? Would he answer, “Nothing, I’m in prison”?

Should the family man ask himself the question, he would surely answer, “I take care of my family.”

Is that enough? Is that good enough?

Ask the pastor or church minister or missionary, and they would answer, “I am doing God’s will.”

Easy. Shift the responsibility to God. “I’m just doing what I’m told.”

If the soldier asked himself the question, his answer would be similar to the religious person’s: a pre-formulated answer will be recited. With conviction.

Would the poor man or woman in the squatter camp say they are trying their best to get back on their feet again?

If the mother of two children in a war-torn area asked herself the question, it would certainly be quite reasonable if she answered: “At this point I do what I need to do to keep myself and my children safe and alive.”

What would she say if the guns fell silent?

How would the couple respond who returns to the ruins of their home after two years in a refugee camp?

What would the heroin addict say?

What would the alcoholic say when he has his first drink of the day, shortly after breakfast?

How would the unscrupulous businessman answer? Would he dismissively reply that he makes as much money as he can, as if you should have been able to guess the answer?

Would he really be satisfied with that? If he is reasonably intelligent, and if he thinks about things every now and then, and you sit for an hour with him at a coffee shop or lounge bar, what would his more comprehensive answer be?

What would the entrepreneur with a social conscience say?

How would the young politician answer who has not sold his soul yet?

How does the author, the artist, the actor, the playwright, the comedian answer?

If everyone has to dodge bullets or shrapnel, or if they wake up at night from hunger pains or cold or the call of a hungry loved one, everyone just reacts. If anyone in the area wants to take a moment to ask a philosophical question, he or she will probably be pushed aside. If you simply react every moment you are awake, the answer to what you are doing is obvious.

But what happens when you are not in immediate danger, and you have options to choose from before you act? What do you do then? And why that choice or action?

THURSDAY, 4 JULY 2013

I look at the work I have to do, for my personal writings as well as for my commercial projects.

My rational brain says: I have to do it; otherwise nothing will come of all the work I have already done.

My emotional brain says: For every R100 I am going to put in in terms of time and effort, I will get back between five cents and R1. (“But I guess I have to do it; otherwise nothing will come of the work I have already done.”)

FRIDAY, 5 JULY 2013

What does a cat do?

The cat did not ask to be born. The cat had no choice about its species or gender, or about the time, place or condition of its birth.

And yet, there it is.

What does the cat do with its daily existence? It tries to get through the day and night with as little tension as possible.

That’s the only thing that makes sense to it.

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