Notes and letters from March to May 2001

Junk food breakfast, and meaning in life

“Work, marriage? Hmm … one needs money, true. One needs companionship, and children sometimes compensate people for not having anything else to give meaning to their lives. All these things have been tested over time and are regarded as universal truths.

Nevertheless, there is more than one way to satisfy the need for money other than a life-sucking job; more than one way to satisfy the need for companionship other than marriage; and more than one way to satisfy the need to experience meaning in your life other than having children.

Take me for example, I’m trying to make it as a Sermoner, and although it doesn’t pay the rent, I do get a kick out of preaching to other people. As for companionship and children, well … it’s not a perfect world. McDonald’s sell a decent breakfast, though. Have you tried that?”

~ From an email to a friend (9 March 2001)

Always wandering?

I can get away with presenting myself as one of “them” – by living a somewhat unconventional but nonetheless middle-class existence. To some extent I want such a life. But there are always other lives to be lived. And I will always have one eye on the type of existence I’m living now.

I don’t think I will ever be able to truly live a conventional middle-class life, even if it is financially within my reach – and these days you don’t need to live in your own country to enjoy this kind of life. I will never be able to lead such an existence in a motivated, dedicated way. I will always be peering over the shoulders of my neighbours at the people who are still wandering, uncertain of what it is they have to or want to do, on roads that cannot exactly be called the “main road”.

~ From the Purple Notebook

… Or am I going to reach a point?

1) I think I’m going to reach a point sooner or later where I’d say, “This!” … “This one, not that one!” … “This way, not that way!” … “Here – not there.”

2) I might also reach a point when I’d start reacting against the idea of being a citizen of the Greater World; a time when I would retreat to a smaller world where fewer things matter – where it will be easier to make decisions.

3) I always believe there are things that I’m supposed to do, and then there are the things that I actually do every day. I am always convinced that what I’m doing is never as important as what I’m supposed to do; that I repeatedly fail to do the more important and more meaningful things.

4) “Don’t you want more?”

“More ice cream?”

“No, more everything! Don’t you want to do something important? Don’t you want the whole world to know who you are?”

“[No.] I already have everything I need.”

~ Note from the Light Brown Notebook (The dialogue is from a movie of which I only saw a small part on TV.)

The challenge: DARE to enter, like John the Baptist / the wilderness alone

~ From Icarus journal, Monday, 9 April 2001

Thought from “Exile, part six”

To write as much as possible affects who I am. The last thing I want is the cheap insult of just talking about what I want to do. I want to lay something on the table through which I could say, “This is what I’ve been doing with my life recently.” It affects my dignity. It affects my self-respect. It affects other people’s perceptions of me and how I want them to see me. And it affects my future as someone who managed to do what I wanted to do, to not be yet another victim of “That’s just how things work,” and “We all had dreams when we were young.”

(Wednesday, 11 April 2001)

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The beautiful world

MONDAY, 30 APRIL 2001

A friend of mine recently mentioned the ambition of working four days per week, and work that’s getting tedious. That she was frustrated with what she has to do for money, is putting it mildly. I could only respond in one way. “You’re a creative person!” I told her. “How many hours per day do you spend making something, creating something? How many hours per week?”

We – the somewhat educated inhabitants of industrialised countries – live in a world where a large percentage of the population is required to provide certain services to maintain the economic status quo. Sometimes it takes sacrifice, on a daily basis, to do the types of work required for this purpose.

One of the sacrifices many people make is their creativity, to be connected with their true nature – to be creative. Of course, there are professions where creativity is required, and a privileged minority fills these positions. Most other workers of the First World order, as we know it, must ignore their inherent need to be creative – at least during “working hours”.

Because we don’t live in totalitarian states where people are forced to abandon their freedom, they must be persuaded by other means. Why on earth would people willingly give up free expression of their creative needs for forty to sixty of the best hours of the week? For “Good Money”, of course! For the opportunity to belong to the “Beautiful World”! To look “beautiful” in this world is to look expensive. In order to be admired as one of the “beautiful people” you must fill your life with “beautiful things” – which, as we all know, means you’re probably not going to pick it up at the local Hospice shop up for a few dollars.

“Don’t you consider a Ferrari to be beautiful?” someone might ask. “Wouldn’t you want one?”

Of course! Is a Gibson Les Paul electric guitar of $600 not a more attractive and higher quality instrument than a Fender replica of a hundred? Anyone will be able to see and hear the difference. But we have to ask ourselves how much we sacrifice to be owners of these “beautiful things”.

A cursory glance will bring home the impression that most of us are willing to sacrifice too much. One of the sacred cows we unceremoniously throw on the altar of the Beautiful World is our ability to be creative, to create things out of raw material. For it is true that it requires a lot of time! But most of the time we are too busy making money with work we would certainly not have spent forty-plus hours per week on were it not for the financial compensation, or we are trying to soothe away our headaches after work, or blowing our Good Money. But the fact that we choose not to be creative does not eliminate the innate desire to create!

Unless we put in some effort to satisfy our creative needs in a sustainable way – with the exception of paid creative work, we fill the void by spending the money we earn on “beautiful” stuff to make ourselves feel a little better about ourselves. If that doesn’t work, we justify the choices we make by pointing out that we are “adults”, that we have a better understanding of the so-called real world than that artist who makes no money. And we laugh so much louder for silly jokes in our two thousand dollar outfits than for something that’s genuinely funny, but it might damage your carefully assembled persona to show appreciation for it. And it’s much easier to give someone a dirty look when he asks, “Wait a minute, what exactly are we doing here?” when you, who don’t have an answer either, sparkle with pearls, and your new Italian shoes glow in the light emanating from expensive boutiques when you trot down the street on your way to yet another purchase.

But what value do pearls and expensive watches and Italian shoes have when you realise, sometime during your forties or fifties, that, despite your earlier dreams and ambitions, you walked straight into that old trap that is set for all children of the middle class? Then you buy a Gibson Les Paul for … $600? “No wait, give me the one for 900, I’ve got a lot of catching up to do!”

But you realise it might be too late. You realise you have spent your life buying “nice things” instead of creating beautiful things. You have become a consumer; you have given yourself over to the disproportionate consumption of the results of other people’s decision to not also deny their creative nature.

It is necessary to point out that I don’t want to be faithful to my creative nature, but when it comes to paying up, the guy who slaves away in an office for ten hours every day has to pay for my steak and beer. I am very interested in money, and preferably lots of it. But my motivation is that having money will allow me to become even less subservient to the conventions of the Beautiful People; to establish a lifestyle recognisable as a good life, without denying what I consider being a central aspect of human nature.

What I want – to express it somewhat differently – is for the “beautiful people” to swallow their untested arguments with expensive French wine for which I’ll foot the bill.

How to be creative and have the ability to afford expensive drinks for your distinguished guests? I can’t provide an answer that will apply to everyone, but I believe too many people shy away from even the mere possibility. Or they consider the “reality” where they have to sacrifice creativity for money as so immutable that they are afraid they will be regarded as naïve, as “idealists” (such a dirty word in certain circles), if they propose something, however modest, that is against the accepted dogma of their “real world”.

People call me an idealist, and I plead guilty. I am, indeed, stubborn in my idealism. Why? Because the alternative is not nearly good enough or beautiful enough to persuade me to deny my own nature.

———————-

[Reading between the lines it becomes clear that it’s still important for the writer to convince the “beautiful people” of his views, not only in his own world of cheap beer and garlic bread, but in the type of environment where “expensive French wine” is expected by the “distinguished guests”. Perhaps a case of preaching to the unconverted in their own world?]

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I am not the master of this world

WEDNESDAY, 21 MARCH 2001

I feel somewhat confused at the moment.

For the record, I think it’s stupid that there is this expectation that everyone should know what is important to them and what they want out of life by the time they finish high school, and at the latest by the time they graduate from college. And if what they want to do, what is important to them, and what they want from life, do not correspond with what usually brings sufficient financial rewards, they should know how they are going to reconcile what they want to do with the world they live in – where everyone has to bring their pound of flesh to the table in monotonous regularity.

Citizens of the establishment hope – and expect – that everyone who graduates from the Schools of Middle-Class Education and Culture will take their places with full conviction so that an orderly and civil society can continue to be orderly and civilised. By this time, however, the Sages of the current incarnation of Civilised Society know that a certain percentage of middle-class candidates will search for paths that do not quite match what has been laid out for them. The Sages also know that most roads lead to Rome – not everyone needs to follow a conventional career to contribute their share to the maintenance and ultimate evolution of this society. And for those who insist on still not making a contribution, there’s enough space in prisons, or in the streets, or in shelters for the homeless.

Since I have never felt strongly about a life in prison or on the street, I’m also trying to find my way to Rome.

“Where’s the confusion then?” you may ask.

I would have been okay on my own, and I know what path I can take to get where I need to go – and the road even goes through the type of landscape from which one can derive inspiration every now and then. But deeply-rooted needs that ensured the existence of a million generations dictate that I must find someone with whom I can share the road. And, as we all know, the next generation starts arriving soon after, whether you have marked out your territory or not.

Confused I therefore am, because – do I want my children to have blond hair and Chinese names, or will I prefer for their mother’s language to be the same familiar sounds with which I grew up? And if not here, then where … and then what should I do to put food on the table?! And big sister wants a lawnmower, and little brother wants a pair of high heels! And my wife wants to buy more magazines?! And all I want to do is write … and good grief, here comes another one! When did this happen? I hardly have time to shave! I don’t think this Babylon was ever meant for me … but now it’s too late because they’re downsizing again! And I’m almost forty and all I ever wanted to do was … but then suddenly I didn’t want to be alone anymore! And I was still stuck on an island in the Far East and I thought the grandparents would also like to see their grandchildren once in a while! And then I had no choice … I had to roll up my bedding and start walking.

I am not the master of this world. Thus are the rules, thus is the game.

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What people do

The things people do for money. And then, things people do for other reasons.

We all need money, but the ways we choose to scrape together a little capital, differ. Some people produce things and sell it to other people; some contribute to the production of items sold by others. Other people buy things in one place and then sell it at a different place at a profit. Some people build or design houses and other buildings; design or build bridges, dams, roads and other infrastructure; decorate other people’s homes; cut hair; clean homes and other buildings; travel into outer space; teach other people things they did not know; study various topics and then get paid for their studies; fly planes between cities and countries; sail ships and boats on rivers, lakes, and/or the world’s oceans; sell products on behalf of other people or businesses; rule over millions of people; provide administrative services to businesses, institutions, or the government; search for and arrest criminals; defend criminals and sometimes innocent people in courts; provide other legal services to people; serve as judges in courts and make decisions regarding the guilt or innocence of people; watch over criminals in prisons; steal other people’s belongings and then sell it for cash or barter for something else and then sell that item for cash; kill some people for a fee; lead or serve in an army or other militaristic organizations in defence of a nation or region; serve as mercenaries in conflict situations; listen to other people when they talk about their problems and try to give advice; serve as guides on tours; write stories or poems or essays or articles, and then sell what they have written – or try to sell it; translate stories or other material that other people have written; create audio-visual versions of stories; play musical instruments or sing for the entertainment of others; compose music or write songs and sell their work; regulate traffic; race cars, motorcycles, trucks, boats or any other machine-powered vehicles or vessels in competition with other people; play other sports on a professional level in competition with other athletes; calculate the income and expenditure of individuals or businesses to convince the authorities that the people do honest business; advise others on how to make money; receive money from individuals or businesses on behalf of the government; receive money from individuals or businesses on behalf of criminal organizations; entertain others by telling jokes or stories, or by acting in circuses, or by portraying characters in movies or plays; repair things that are broken; prepare food and drinks for other people to enjoy; serve food and drinks to other people; ensure the smooth running of a business or organization on behalf of other people or the government; market other people, products or businesses; provide sexual services to mostly men; dance naked or half naked for the pleasure of fully dressed men and sometimes women; provide a wide range of services to other people or businesses in the name of other businesses or the government; deliver mail; take pictures and sell copies of them; develop pictures for other people; provide information through mass communication media; provide information in covert ways; investigate other people or events and report their findings for a fee; provide health services to people; paint houses or other buildings; design gardens or other landscapes, or keep gardens or other landscapes in fair condition; design materials that will attract people’s attention for commercial or other purposes; sell their organs, sperm, or safe amounts of blood; undergo medical tests for compensation; care or protect fauna and/or flora; act as mediators between parties with conflicting agendas; offer their specialized services or expertise to people on a freelance basis; negotiate the release of hostages; take people hostage or kidnap people and release them for large amounts of money; design products that will be manufactured by other people; breed livestock or cultivate vegetables or fruit to sell at markets or at roadside stalls; extinguish fires; provide health services to animals; hunt animals or fish or other sea creatures and sell what they have killed or captured; act as coaches of athletes in preparation for competition, or animals in preparation for entertainment activities; take stuff people don’t want anymore as well as plastic wrappings and waste paper and empty bottles and rotten food and so on from residential areas to designated areas outside the town or city; cultivate flowers and/or trees and sell them; forge documents or produce counterfeit copies of other valuable items; act as interpreters between speakers of different languages; repair houses or other buildings, or old cars or furniture, and sell what they have restored; transport sick or injured people to hospitals or clinics; care for the sick or elderly; care for toddlers or young children for short periods during the day or sometimes in the evening; manage other people’s households; provide labour to farmers; build, tar, or maintain roads; or transport goods and/or people per truck or train from one place to another. And some people spend their days selecting material written by other people so that it can finally be published and sold at a profit.

People also spend time on other things, but for reasons other than monetary compensation. They collect stamps; plant trees or flowers; mow the lawn; paint their houses; compose music; or they write journals, diaries, letters, and other private pieces of literature not intended for commercial publication. People also read books, newspapers and other publications; they watch movies; play golf or tennis or soccer or any of dozens of other sports; drive around in their cars or on their bicycles or motorcycles; sail boats; fly airplanes; go on outings; copulate with a second party (and sometimes a third party during the same session); watch TV; clean the house; take photos; care for loved ones; spend time and money on charity; help people in need; fix things that are broken; renovate a house, old furniture, or old cars for personal use; play video or computer games; go swimming; go on picnics; do physical exercise; make model airplanes, boats or cars; do carpentry; do puzzles; learn to speak other languages; play musical instruments; sing songs (alone or with others); care for pets; decorate homes; cook food; visit friends or relatives; steal food or other items for personal use or consumption; cause physical and/or mental harm to others; use illegal drugs; drink dangerous amounts of alcohol; dance, alone or with others; listen to music; go shopping; go out with friends; attend live music or other artistic performances; make clothes; make home videos; get married and have children; race with other people in cars or on bicycles or motorcycles; play card or board games; spend hours browsing the Internet; travel to other countries; visit museums, art galleries or other places of interest; attend religious gatherings; smoke cigarettes or use other tobacco products; listen to what others have to say about their problems; discuss their own problems with other people; argue or debate contentious points; shower or take baths; sleep or take naps; get dressed, shave, brush teeth, or do other things for personal hygiene; listen to the radio; walk in circles; do window shopping; tell jokes; collect material possessions; brag about themselves; become involved in physical altercations; attend sport events; start extramarital affairs; buy presents for other people; hold birthday parties; celebrate Christmas and/or other religious festivals; organize and take part in mass demonstrations and protests; vandalize buildings and/or other infrastructure; torture animals or other people; go to the beach and lie in the sun to change the colour of their skin; go fishing; go crazy and end up in mental institutions; do puppetry; spread disease; fall in love; stalk other people; study human behaviour from a distance; teach their children manners; tell lies; participate in school or community plays; defend their property and fellow citizens from others who want to destroy, damage or do harm; wash their cars; do their laundry; wash dishes; pray or meditate; worship other people, idols, or a religious entity; sweep dust and dirt from their homes; pick up litter; kill spiders and other insects in their homes; prepare drinks or other beverages for themselves and/or family and friends; set buildings or other property on fire; go camping; scare children or other people; stare at the sunrise or sunset; stare at the clouds and imagine seeing shapes; think about the meaning of life; think about the possible reason for their existence; make phone calls to friends or family (perhaps to find out if they know the meaning of life); catch butterflies; go to the zoo to stare at other animals; think of things that can make their lives easier; cover their faces with powder and/or other makeup; kiss other people; embrace and hold hands; make fools of themselves for the amusement of others; learn martial arts; loathe themselves; criticize others; collect photos of themselves and friends and family and arrange them in photo albums; tell stories about their own lives, the lives of people they know, or events and incidents which other people had told them about; fantasize about people with whom they are not currently intimately involved; daydream about what they’ll do if they win the British Lottery; rearrange their furniture; dictate wills to attorneys; spend time in homes for elderly people; play bridge every Thursday; go ten-pin bowling every Friday; browse through books in bookstores; borrow books from libraries; paint or draw pictures; compile what-to-do-lists; worry about the future; redo sofa chairs and couches; sing in the shower; get divorced; go to jail; run away from home; take part in social or political revolutions; or take the wrong turn and never look back. And some people, remarkable as it may seem, do absolutely nothing.

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The purpose of my life

[This next piece is typical of the time from which it dates – early 2001. I had fewer classes than the previous year, and therefore had hours every day to spend on big, ambitious essays like this one. The piece was never finished, and by the time I started putting this project together, too many other ideas have come and gone for me to finish the piece in the same “voice”. I do try, however, after the last paragraph, to clarify the final point.]


SUNDAY, 25 FEBRUARY 2001

An Honest Attempt At Solving A Nasty Problem/A Preliminary Investigation Into The Purpose And Meaning Of Life, And What We Have To Do To Lead Fulfilling And Happy Lives

PART ONE

~ An Ode to the Movies ~

“Real life is not like in the movies where you get a realisation and your life changes the next day. In real life, you get a realisation, and your life changes a month later.” ~ From Postcards from the Edge

A few days ago, at a quarter past one in the morning, I gave myself a deadline: at half-past one, I had to have an answer to the question of what I want to do with my life. I took up position on the porch, and smoked a cigarette. Half-past one came and half-past one went, as expected, with no progress in my investigation. Help, or inspiration, would have been welcomed with an open mind.

A film I had seen a few months ago came to mind as a possible indication of how to look for an answer. The film is about a bunch of software engineers, and how they struggle with the question of the value of their lives. (As it happened, one character is a little more obsessive about the topic.) During one conversation, they discuss the difference between what they are doing with their lives, and what everyone would consider being more ideal for them. In other words, if they don’t have to while away at least eight hours per day, five days per week in office cubicles for an income, what would they do with their time? One character mentions that a teacher once asked them what they would do with a million dollars. The answer, in theory, would have given them an indication of what career they should follow. For example, if one had said he would fix old cars then that was supposed to mean he should become a mechanic. (Don’t you get the impression sometimes that life is a white elephant? Someone gave you this thing we call “life”, but you’re not sure what to do with it and throwing it away is not an option.)

Inspired by this bit of advice, I asked myself the following question: If I had a million dollars, how would I spend my days and nights?

Now, this happens to be a cloud upon which I often fall asleep at night, and preliminary answers are always the same – buy my parents a large house and give them enough money so they can retire, give my two sisters enough money so they’d never have to worry about money again, buy myself an old building, travel for at least six months, see all the places I’ve always wanted to see, build up an international network of lovers … and then I usually fall asleep.

After an hour or so of considering what I would do with a million dollars, I could not come up with a better answer than the usual line-up. I knew these are all short-term goals. If I’m done buying houses and giving away boatloads of money, the goals are no longer valid.

So let’s say my parents and my sisters are comfortable for the rest of their lives, I’ve seen the world, and I’ve built up an international reputation, how will I keep myself busy? Or maybe I should go further and ask, what shall I do to give meaning to my life?

I then thought of another movie where some suburban fellows from a big city reckon it will do them good to chase cattle across the plains. During this adventure, they meet an old cowboy. One of the city folk, who is also contemplating the Big Question, thinks an old cattle man ought to know the answer. The latter ponders for a moment, then raises a single finger in the air. “One thing,” he says. The city guy waits with bated breath for the rest of the answer. When the rancher fails to finish his sentence, he asks him what the one thing is. “You’ve got to figure that out for yourself,” the old man replies.

My own views made me comfortable with the idea, so my sights have increasingly been set on identifying a single thing. In fact, the One Thing Theory has become an almost dogmatic part of my thought processes on the Higher Questions of Life. I was convinced that, whatever the answer, it can only be one thing.

By the time I went to bed (at about half-past four), I had an idea: to start a business that sells documentaries, music videos, travel programs and films on DVD, maybe a mail order business so I don’t have to sit in a store every day of the week. This would cover my interests in history, music, movies and current affairs. I also thought if I had to tell people this is my ambition, the goal I want to pursue, they would find it acceptable; it would sound like the kind of response they would want to give if anyone asked them about their goals and ambitions. We all know people who go on endlessly about a restaurant they want to open, or a coffee shop or a bookstore, even a shoe store. Few of us are in the habit of laughing in the faces of people with such ambitions, and we rarely think their dreams are ridiculous. Such ambitions make sense. They will have something to keep them busy most of the time, and they will probably enjoy being in an industry that serves good food, or they will find it pleasing to stay up to date on the most commercially successful books of the day. And everyone knows this kind of ambition, if successful, will generate income for the owners and their families.

The notion of sufficient capital to fund whatever you want to do had thus brought a preliminary answer. Hoping that the answer would hold until brunch, I drifted off, dreaming of shelves filled with documentaries, music videos, and other interesting items.

The next day (or later the same day) I awoke with a slight suspicion of a point that had recently been reached. The moment I remembered what it was, it was as if someone had knocked me on the head. A shop?! Me, a store owner? How on earth did I stumble on that as a reason for my existence?

The light of a new afternoon had indeed brought clarity. I had to start from scratch.

In a systematic fashion, I decided to look at the possible reasons why I had initially regarded the idea as worthy of consideration, in order to proceed with the next step in the process. People find satisfaction in their jobs, right? And not everyone has a job that others envy! I know people who are happy in jobs others will find incredibly dull. On the other hand, should salaried work necessarily get the credit for happiness in one’s life? Put differently, must you necessarily find a job that makes you happy?

But I’m trying to smuggle in an idea that is entitled to at least a provisional theory: happiness, and why it is so interwoven in our quest to find purpose and meaning in our lives (at least at this time of world history, if not necessarily always the case in bygone eras).

Elementary psychology and common sense teach us that we have certain basic needs. Whether or not the satisfaction of these needs occurs in hierarchical order, we know that they must be satisfied to a reasonable extent to ensure physical survival and to more or less keep your sanity. It also follows from common sense more than anything else, that if our needs are met, we experience a sensation that we usually call “happiness”. If we have enough to eat, we’re relatively healthy, we get six to eight hours of decent sleep every night, we have a suitable hiding place (either in a rented room or a mansion), we love and are loved (in both physical and emotional terms), we have a reasonable understanding of how everything fits together, and we give expression to our creative needs, then we usually feel that life is all right, to say the least.

If any of our basic needs – physical or otherwise – is not met, we experience a sensation of a different nature. Depending on the degree of want and the type of need, we usually announce that we are “unhappy”, or “not feeling well”. In the case of serious emergency or deprivation – or just to be more specific – we give the unpleasant sensations names like “hunger”, “cold”, “fear” or “loneliness”.

But how does the fulfilment of needs fit in our discussion of employment (or unemployment, whatever the case may be)? It works as follows: the paid labour we provide, determines the extent to which most of our needs are met. Enough money means enough food (unless the money is blown on other needs that are less important in relation to the needs that must be met to ensure our physical survival). Heaps of money, again in theory, can provide a million dollar shelter for you and your intimate circle, and first class satisfaction of your other needs. Alternatively: no money, no food; no food, poor health, and eventual death due to complications caused by inadequate satisfaction of basic needs. Between these two extremes lies a spectrum with a thousand points of difference in degree of need fulfilment. All this confirms the basic truth that the income you earn stands in direct relation to the extent to which your needs are met as well as the quality of need satisfaction.

“Masters of simplicity,” is what the historian Alan Bullock called two of the bloodiest dictators of the twentieth century. According to him, Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin refused to be overwhelmed by the complexity of problems they faced. I tend to be exactly the opposite. Not only do I feel overwhelmed by questions about the purpose and meaning of life, at times I suffer acute anxiety about it! The reason is the large number of possible answers to the questions. During the last few decades, many established religions have had to compete for fans (and monetary donations) with hundreds of sects, movements and quasi-religions. Ministers, high priests, low priests, popes, rabbis, holy men, ungodly men, holy women, even the local bartender, all have their answers to the questions we ask. To this list you can add ancient philosophers, pseudo-philosophers, psychologists, self-improvement gurus, actors-turned writers, authors-turned-singers. The list is endless. If you add friends and family as well, you’ll start to feel like a toy robot whose wires have become crossed. You even start running into the furniture, and you hit your head against the walls. And it’s not even always intentional.

A few weeks ago, my mother added another ingredient to the simmering brew. She thought it would be prudent to share with me one of the basic facts of the real (read: middle-class) life, namely that a man must have made his mark by the 35th anniversary of his arrival on this planet. He must, to be sure, already start kicking in his heels by his mid-twenties, but if he’s at least heading in the right direction by the age of thirty he can still put in the final push by his mid-thirties. After 35, according to my mother, it becomes increasingly difficult for a man to find his place in the world. (This of course applies to women, as well. I have two sisters, and I was not raised to believe that just because I was a boy, I needed to feel inferior to the girls in the family. Or the other way around, as I later discovered the tendency to be in the broader community.)

I thanked my mother wholeheartedly for her advice (which to some extent does make sense). The idea is to focus on something for a number of years, to master some skill or ability, or to obtain a qualification in order to pursue a specific career. I also realised that the motivation behind this advice as well as the age to which it is linked, possibly has something to do with the fact that one’s parents don’t want you to move in with them again at a point in their lives when they’re not too enthusiastic about staring you in the face every morning – even more so if you’re unemployed.

The other reason why it makes sense for you to be financially comfortable at 35 is because you might consider producing some offspring. We all know the associations: more mouths to feed, more groceries, new shoes and clothing, school fees, a bigger house, a bigger car, more expensive mortgage, 35 going on 60. I could see where this was going. The ideal of a typical middle-class life has never been my main motivation for getting up in the morning (or in the early afternoon, as the case is nowadays). But to offer that as a reason not to do what people have been doing from long before the most ancient philosopher formulated the first “Why?” theory is not good enough.

Why does it seem that (almost) everyone (almost) always tend to do the same thing, in good times and bad, whether they’re beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, idiot or genius? A person reaches a certain age, he or she starts acting differently than before, and when they open their eyes one morning they are not eating breakfast alone anymore. This same tendency repeats itself through every era of world history, through every generation across all boundaries – regardless of race, religion, ideology, education, background, class or status. Why does it seem that people are always drifting towards each other – with two happily walking into the sunset every now and then? Why does it seem to make people happy to interact with individuals with whom they have something in common?

It’s simple, you might answer: People need each other. Like animals, we have a need for the protection and support of a group. We are also born with a strong desire to reproduce, thus the intimate contact between (usually) two people at a time.

A further explanation for this tendency among humans can be found in a superficial consideration of the opposite to relationships and association, namely the phenomenon of loneliness – to be on your own when you don’t necessarily want to be. A character in another movie once mentioned that according to Native American folklore, the worst punishment that can be imposed on a man is to force him to roam the earth alone. It is also incidentally the worst (official) punishment a prisoner can be imposed in a prison. “Throw him in the hole for two weeks,” a prison chief often hollers in a movie, and then the other prisoners stare at the floor in a mild panic. It’s not just the absence of sunlight that will bring the man to the verge of a nervous breakdown – people need other people. Wisdom from Africa complements that of the Native Americans with the concept of “ubuntu” – a person is a person through other people.

Universal phenomenon, wisdom from Africa and North America, the prison boss in the movie, and my mother, all confirm the same thing: I need a dog. Is that not one of the main reasons why people keep pets? To compensate themselves for the lack of human companionship! Or if they’re lucky enough to share their daily life with others, to have something to talk to when the usual party is not in the mood, or temporarily unavailable.

But a pet has more value than to merely have something bark back when you speak, and has a more significant effect on the human psyche than the little entertainment it provides when it performs a well-practised trick. Having a pet is to experience how it feels when another creature needs you – when something or someone else needs you to be alive. It gives us a sense of value. It makes us feel like there’s a purpose in life, a reason for our existence. (The idea that you must stay alive to give Bruno that bowl of kibble twice daily will undoubtedly be put in a new perspective the moment you remind yourself that he will probably trot down the street to find food elsewhere if you continue to talk philosophy with him.)

We need other people – as I’ve already pointed out, and even more than we need pets – for obvious reasons: We need to feel we belong somewhere, we need companionship, and in the case of usually more intimate relationships, we feel the need to reproduce. In a recent movie about a wedding singer, the main character comes to a point where he says to his friend, from that moment on both of them are going to be “free and happy”. His friend empties his shot of whiskey in one gulp and replies, “I’m not happy. I’m miserable.” He continues to explain that, despite his reputation as a single roving male, he just needs someone to hold him, someone who can comfort him by saying that everything is going to be all right. Throw in the concept of “us” that defines a relationship, and you become increasingly convinced of the fact that you belong somewhere if you’re in a meaningful relationship with another person. A French madam who made comfort (and sometimes love) her business in another movie, summarises the reasons for an intimate relationship between two people as “romance, companionship and devotion”. A relationship of this nature has the added benefit that you have someone to talk to if your pet is busy elsewhere. And to add a little spice to the brew, you’ll have someone with whom you can refine the art of reproduction.

To be important to someone else, to have someone in your life who regard you as an indispensable part of his or her life, gives meaning to your existence. It’s a simple agreement, but it works: I will give meaning to your life if you give meaning to mine.

Have I solved the One Finger Thing? Is love, as many suspect, the answer? Do “romance, companionship and devotion” give meaning to our lives, and a reason to live? It may sound cynical, but I’m not entirely satisfied.

It is true that we need love, and that it enables us to answer the Big Question to a satisfactory degree. However, I have come to the conclusion that we need at least two other things to complete the puzzle. First, we must find a way to ensure the continuous satisfaction of our material needs – including food on a daily basis and protection from the elements (already touched upon a few paragraphs back). In the language of modern times, this means one thing: money. Unless we’ve won some kind of lottery, it also implies that we need to work to obtain this money on a regular basis. In the second place – or besides love and money, the third piece of the puzzle – we need something we enjoy doing. Some call this activity a hobby; I prefer to call it the Third Thing.

Allow me to explain the significant impact the Third Thing has on the possibility of happiness and fulfilment in our lives. This thing – whether an activity, or the mastery of any ability, or just collecting things – is what many of us would have spent most of our time on if we did not need to spend it earning a monthly salary. The reasons why we pursue these Third Things range from recreation to the challenge they present to the sense of self-worth that results from it. The underlying principle is that we enjoy doing these things.

Some would argue that they enjoy collecting stamps, but they don’t necessarily want to busy themselves with it full time. They may argue further that they enjoy doing what they have chosen to make money with (if it’s not collecting rare stamps to sell at a profit). This, in a sense, confirms the principle that we need something that some call a hobby – what matters is that it is something we enjoy.

Realistically speaking, the work we choose to earn our proverbial bread and butter with should be something we’re more or less interested in, something we enjoy doing to a reasonable degree. A professional photographer is a good example of someone who generates an income in an area he or she is interested in. It might even lessen the need for a Third Thing because the way they earn money already provides the necessary fulfilment for which the third part of the formula is normally needed. If you haven’t been so blessed with the ability to make smart career choices, or if you don’t enjoy your salaried position because of other reasons, you need a separate interest or activity for the formula to work.

Balance is another factor that should be taken into consideration. A partner fulfils a whole range of needs, just as you (hopefully) do the same for him or her. But everyone knows that love does not pay the rent (if a character in a movie hasn’t mentioned it, I bet your mother has). You or your partner, or both of you, need an income with which the rent or mortgage can be paid, with which food and clothing can be purchased, and like most people in the developed world have discovered since the Industrial Revolution, to acquire many more items than you can truly afford and/or need. If the work you do for an income provides you with a degree of pleasure and satisfaction, you will already have started to satisfy the need normally covered by “what people do in their spare time for fun” (as the dictionary defines “hobby”).

So now you have enough food in your stomach to keep you for a few hours, and your imperfect nakedness is protected from the weather. You have a decent roof over your head, a reasonably solid understanding of the universe, romance and intimacy are part of your daily life, and you mow the lawn every second Saturday for fun and entertainment while you think about your stamp collection. But still you feel a gnawing discomfort in your belly. And no matter how hard you try, you cannot remember the question we contemplated when this whole discussion started.

(SORT OF) PART TWO

The search for answers to the questions that have haunted people since the awakening of intellectual curiosity usually produces several possibilities. But just when you start getting confident about your philosophical abilities, you realise that you never managed to properly formulate the question. What is it that we want to know? Do we want to know why we were born? Do we want to know whether or not we have a purpose we must fulfil? Do we want to be convinced that our lives have meaning and value? Do we want to know what we should do to live happy and fulfilling lives? Why do we want to live happy and fulfilling lives?

Most of us have certain expectations of ourselves, things we would like to achieve. Growing up we look at what other people do, and we identify – consciously or not – certain individuals as examples. We imagine what it would be like to do the same things these people do or have done, and to achieve similar results. But why do we want to pursue these goals? Why do we want to realise our expectations? Why do we have expectations of ourselves to begin with?

The Greek philosopher Plato argued that because we fear disappearing into the nothingness, we want to achieve immortality. We look at the animal kingdom, and we hope that our lives are more valuable than that of a rat or a giraffe. We know how fragile our lives can be, but we are also aware of some unique qualities and abilities that other animals do not possess.

The notion that we should achieve more in our lifetime than a wild beast would achieve in his seems to be a natural result of our superior intellectual abilities. If we do not need to do more with our lives than the average animal, then why do we possess abilities that are much more advanced than our primate cousins to whom we are most closely related? We start formulating questions that can bring us closer to what it means to be “human”. We wonder about the “meaning of life”, whether or not there’s a specific reason why we were born, whether or not there’s a purpose to our existence.

I suspect that these questions are not merely different versions of the same basic inquiry, and it is therefore necessary to consider different answers to each question. I would also suggest that one initially focuses on one question, namely the one about what makes you happy. (Many will protest that personal happiness is selfish. “Should we not strive for something nobler?” they would ask. The latter is an issue that will be raised again later; the reader will also find that a nobler pursuit is not inconsistent with the primary emotion we call “happiness”. The possibility of happiness also plays a key role in the conviction that life is worth the effort, however people choose to define what makes them happy – whether it is endless entertainment, or commitment to a good cause.)

Is there an answer to what makes a person happy with which a majority of people can agree? I believe there is.

Now, at this point, some readers might expect a life-changing revelation. They may see in their mind’s eye how I clear my throat, take hold of the microphone and start speaking, slowly, carefully weighing my words. After hearing my magical utterances, they may imagine pulling back and muttering in awe: “Wow! So that’s what a man comes up if he spends years in solitary isolation in an attempt to find an answer! I am so relieved that you have given me these magnificent words! It’s now clear that I would never have been able to work it out on my own …”

The truth is, fortunately for all of us, much less dramatic (even though it did take me years of possibly unnecessary semi-solitary confinement to work it out). What you need is the three things that have already been discussed. For those who didn’t quite notice the pattern, here it is again: You need love, and you need money, and then you need something you enjoy doing – on your own, it might be wise to add. (Good health can be added to the mix, now that I think of it). If these elements are part of your life to a satisfactory degree, you are at least on your way to a state of existence that can be called “personal happiness”, and you might just be convinced that life is worth the pain and disappointment that are sometimes unavoidable ingredients of our existence.

An extra word of advice here would not be inappropriate: Balance must be maintained. If the balance is disturbed, it will be like a magic formula that doesn’t work because the words were uttered in the wrong order, or because you have left something out. If you spend too much time making money, and you harm your relationship with the person (or people) you love, it will break the spell. On the other hand, if you warm up the bed all day with your lover, it won’t do if you tell the bank manager that love is more important than money when he wants to know where the mortgage payment is. The third thing is also essential to complete the first two and balance the whole story out. Relationships are not always simple, and sometimes a colleague or superior at work makes your attempts at earning an income even more gut-wrenching than it’s supposed to be. At such times, it helps if you know you can go fishing later, or spend a few hours plucking away at your guitar strings on the back porch.

There you have it, as you surely have always suspected: love, money, and something you do for pure enjoyment. It’s up to you to decide which one is more important, or which one is most deserved of your time. Personally, I think we can all do with a guitar, but not even Jimi Hendrix could survive without love or money. And remember, the thought that bread can quiet your hunger pains is not sufficient to fill your belly. You have to go out and find what you need; otherwise you’ll end up a lonely and hungry fool, no matter how much you know or understand.

This brings us to the end of this part of the discussion. If, however, you find yourself among a small group of people who are not satisfied with enough money, true love and a decent hobby, I encourage you to continue reading the third and final part of this piece.

THIRD AND FINAL PART

“Like [the Scottish moral philosopher] Adam Smith and others, [the German intellectual] Von Humboldt felt that at the root of human nature is the need for free, creative work under one’s own control.” ~ Noam Chomsky, Secrets, Lies and Democracy

I earn money, to afford a few of the basic needs that we have discussed so far, by teaching English to Taiwanese children. My weekly schedule consists of a patchwork of classes at different schools – a few hours here, some there, and so on. To qualify for the documents to legally reside in Taiwan, I only have to teach eleven hours per week at the school that sponsors my work permit application every year (I’m actually only doing eight hours per week at this institution). Every hour I spend in a classroom more than the eleven hours per week I legally have to teach increases my income. However, I am always aware of the fact that I am not obliged to spend those extra hours in a classroom. To not teach any extra classes will, of course, have a negative impact on my cash flow, and there is a line that’s best not to cross.

Every hour I don’t spend in a classroom to increase my income is an extra hour I have to spend on things that interest me. During the last few months, I’ve been busy rearranging and reviewing my teaching schedule. The main motivation is to give myself more time for what Chomsky calls “free and creative work under one’s own control”.

I have also formulated a simple theory that explains that people can only experience lasting and sustainable happiness and fulfilment if they are creators. (The consumer culture, according to this theory, is considered to be the lowest form of creativity. It works like this: people need to create, but instead of being creative in a proper way, they go shopping, make choices, and then buy clothes, jewellery and other articles with which they can give expression to their creative nature. This satisfies their creative needs to an extent, although in a lower degree of creative process than, for example, painting or composing music.)

Before you arrive at the creative phase of your life, you need to face the most critical challenge, namely the struggle for basic survival. For many people on this planet, physical survival is a daily struggle. They take nothing for granted – not food or water, nor shelter, or anything else that many people in the middle and upper strata of modern society deems as just another item on the monthly budget. Their daily lives consist of a struggle for survival. (Yet, not even these people can ignore the basic human need to create. They write or draw on walls or carve images representative of their lives from wood or stone.)

Most people in the modern industrialised world, especially in the middle and higher strata, have managed to overcome the struggle for basic survival. They live in houses or apartments with running water and electricity, and it’s not uncommon to see shelves filled with food supplies in refrigerators and kitchen cabinets (and sometimes conveniently close to the TV). Many have access to money in a bank account, or they have credit cards with which they can go to nearby places to buy the food they need to keep themselves alive. They also have access to people who are specially trained to look after them when they are sick or injured. A crude, daily struggle for physical survival is no longer part of modern society – for most of the citizens of modern societies, anyway. To be economically active, both as workers and as consumers, has replaced the basic struggle that was our ancestors’ fate in more primitive times.

When the ancient Greeks and Romans contemplated the meaning of life, ideas about good and bad, and the necessity of happiness, their societies had also progressed to a large extent beyond the primitive struggle for physical survival. They could indeed afford the luxury of philosophy. If Socrates or Plato had to grab a spear every day to go chase after a wild boar in the forests to keep themselves and their families alive, they would not have had time to sit around in masterpieces of architecture, discussing the finer points of human existence. The same can be said of Michelangelo or Leonardo da Vinci, and the times and environments in which they had lived and worked. If they had to hunt every day, or gather food in the forest, or cultivate small patches of land so that they and their masters could have grain for bread, they would surely not have had time to paint cathedral ceilings, or portraits of the wives of rich merchants.

Certainly it can be said that Socrates & Company did not only contemplate philosophical issues until well into the afternoon because they liked the sound of their own voices. They did so because they needed to ask certain questions; that the creative, intelligent process of considering possible answers gave them a degree of satisfaction, can probably also be taken for granted. Same with Da Vinci and his colleagues in the world of the creative arts; they probably did not just paint because they liked the sight of paint spots on their faces, or because they thought art was an okay way to earn a few silver coins. Their work was, I believe, driven by an innate desire to create.

A thinker of Socrates’ calibre is not easily encountered in your average modern university or academic institution, and few painters are in the class of Da Vinci. But because we all share the same basic “design”, I believe the needs that found expression in the works of ancient philosophers and the masters of the Renaissance, are the same needs that also drive us in the 21st century in our creative endeavours (even though we experience these needs in different ways and in varying degrees of intensity).

Do we all experience the need to create or produce art or music or philosophical works? No. It is true that many of us consider ourselves lucky to just be able to go to work every day, come home in the evening, have supper, and yell at either the dog or the TV (depending on which one annoys us first). However, few of us are satisfied with a life limited to these things. We arrange the decor of our homes, plant the garden full of flowers, buy nice things for the house, and produce and raise children. In many cases, we’re not even aware that these things are fundamentally creative. We see it as a natural result of marriage to have kids, and yet the process of raising children is one of the most creative of all creative processes – to be involved in the creation of a new person.

It has already been mentioned that the Battle for Survival is not the same as a few centuries or millennia ago. But the idea that struggle is part of the distant past, is far from the truth. Although we no longer need to wrestle lions or bears out of their caves, our struggle continues in other ways. And in many cases it’s not much less scary than running away from a wounded bison or wildebeest.

Our struggle today, to a large extent, is no longer physical. The intriguing thing is that sometimes we still admire physical strength more than intellectual strength, and courage in a situation that is considered a physical threat more than magnificent talent in art or music. Many still respect the abilities that would have kept them alive 5,000 years ago, despite the lack of opportunity for application of these abilities in their actual daily lives in a much more sophisticated world.

We are born with the instinct to fight and to get the upper hand on what threatens our existence. But what happens to these instincts if our world becomes safe enough and we are no longer able to sharpen our fighting abilities on the giant teeth of a mammoth bull?

The life energy and the instincts with which we are born are the same as the life energy and instincts with which our ancestors were born. The latter lived in much more primitive and much more dangerous environments. Today we argue and fight amongst ourselves, and only occasionally are these arguments worthy of being remembered. We moan and we complain, and we criticise every person and every thing that just slightly irritates our sensitive natures …

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[And that’s as far as I got with this ambitious piece.

My question at the end was this: What do we do with our fighting spirit in a world that differs in so many ways from the primitive world of our ancestors? Some people search, consciously and in a calculated manner, or without thinking, for opportunities to continue to utilise this instinct. Examples range from professional athletes (boxers would be the best example), to soldiers, young gangsters who spend time in environments where conflict is always a promising possibility, to people always looking for an argument.

Is there an alternative? The idea that I wanted to propose with ardent enthusiasm at the end (before I was distracted) is that we should use these instincts with which we are born as creative energy if we no longer have to use them on a daily basis for physical battle for the sake of basic survival; otherwise we’ll end up wasting it on frivolous arguments, useless wailing, and all kinds of no-good ventures. Certainly it’s also true that there are still areas where this instinct in its more primary form can be applied to good purpose – fire-fighting, first aid and police services are excellent examples.

Have I answered the original question about the purpose of my life? Not yet. Did I get more clarity on what I want to do with my life or what would give meaning to my existence? Have I worked out a possible reason for my existence? Have I succeeded in declaring what makes a person happy? Well, a few questions have been formulated, and some possible answers tested. The process continues.]

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