Writing to make money; writing as my duty

[Since many people will not be familiar with the references, the following: 1) One of the first ways of making money on the Internet to which you are exposed when you start investigating these things is so-called “affiliate marketing” where you convince people to buy certain products. How does it work? You provide people with a link (“Click here for more information!”); a piece of code is planted on the person’s computer; when the person pays for the product the company that processes the payment picks up that the transaction had followed a certain route; you get credit for the transaction; a few weeks later you get paid a commission for your efforts. One of the ways you get people to click on your special link is to place the link in an article dealing with a particular problem or covering some niche interest, or at the end of a product review. 2) Squidoo.com was a website where anyone could start a page on any topic they were interested in. The pages were called “lenses”. 3) “Private label” refers to text or any other digital content or media people produce which they sell to other people with permission to modify as they wish and to publish under their own names. 4) “Pay-per-click” refers to small text ads that appear above or next to Google’s search results (and those of some other search engines) and on some web pages; advertisers pay for these ads depending on how many times people click on them or on how many times they appear. 5) “PDF” is an electronic document format. 6) Article directories are sites with thousands of articles on hundreds of topics. In 2008 when this text was written, article directories were popular places where you could get free content for your website with the only conditions being that you could not change the article in any way and you had to include the author’s details when you published it on your own site. It was therefore also a good way to get exposure for yourself and for your own website.]

THURSDAY, 3 APRIL 2008

10:41

I have no desire to look for a reason why I do not yet have millions of dollars in cash to unpack on my apartment floor to stare at.

A question does come to mind: How many of the projects that are currently on my list require that I write something? The answer: everything except the sports and financial markets, and perhaps pay-per-click advertising.

The next question: How much writing have I produced in the past 26 months to market something? Answer: A few paragraphs here and there; a few product reviews; three articles; a few Squidoo lens introductions; and a PDF with an introduction, ten short pieces about different ways to make money, and an advertisement for the “private label” version. In short, not much.

Anyone who knows anything about Internet marketing will say a prerequisite for any one-person show to get anywhere is unique content, mostly text. Dozens of products are sold or provided at no cost to help people with something that many regard as daunting – software, templates, how-to products, all of which were developed to assist people through the process of writing articles. There are sites where people can find writers to produce content for them at the cost of a few dollars per item. There are private label sites where people can buy bundles of articles that they can change however they like and then publish under their own names. There are books that aim to teach you how to earn a regular full-time income by producing private label material for other people, because … people need content for their websites, and they do not always have the time or ability to create the content themselves.

The production of text is indeed an industry that has arisen because people want to make money on the Internet. And you learn quickly: No content for your web pages; no profit.

Fantastic, I thought right at the start. I don’t have money to throw in any project’s direction, but I can write. This is going to be easy! And I can write about anything. I can read what other people have written and then give my own spin on the topic. I can scan through dozens of PDFs and then write articles in which I can stick my affiliate links and – then I can sit back and wait for that first fat commission check!

Twenty-six months later. If I had to take everything that I have written so far to market something, throw it together in a document and call it a book, I would tear my clothes and grind my teeth (not too hard, though; my one tooth already has a crack in it). The three articles I submitted to the article directories last year were okay. I could still publish them under my real name. One woman even left a comment in which she said, “That was exactly what I needed to hear today!”

You can fool most people some of the time, but you should never try to deceive yourself. I try to write articles about horse racing betting systems and affiliate marketing, and in the pipeline is text on dog training, tattoos, and muscle-building. Imagine that. No wonder the real writer is on a go-slow.

The good news is that there are ways to make money on the Internet where you don’t need to write anything, such as sports trading, sports betting and trading on the financial markets.

Does that mean all money-making opportunities that require written text are forever lost to me because the writer inside me finds it psychologically unbearable to write about anything that is not a matter of life and death?

Fortunately not. There is after all private label content – and the writer does not have a problem with editing and rewriting, free articles you can publish on your own sites, material on which copyright has expired, and the possibility of outsourcing all essential text. The problem is, in actual fact, not a problem at all. As long as I do not expect myself to do anything more than editing text that has already been written.

Funny how I thought the big problem was with me not wanting to be a marketer …

So, it seems that contrary to my initial perception, I don’t have an existential problem with engaging in activities intended to market something. It is even less of a problem if I can do it under a pseudonym, or even better, anonymously. Internet marketing is after all not the same as selling hot dogs outside a sports stadium, or trying to pawn off “Win a Ford!” tickets to unsuspecting people who saunter into a shopping mall.

* * *

“Break the deadlock, or stay broke,” I wrote the other day on a piece of paper on the kitchen wall. And in my notebook, I wrote on Tuesday, 25 March 2008: “If this is also too much for my sensitive character who never wants to compromise, I almost want to say, ‘That’s it! I am walking away from what I have become, as it is now clear that I’m doomed to a lifetime of teaching people to speak English! I’m going to find myself a new body to inhabit!’” At exactly eleven o’clock that night I wrote: “The new idea [something about which I was excited for a few weeks] have two comments written in pencil across it, ‘critical success’ and ‘typical failure’. The question is: Which one will be written in pen?”

What does this mean? My notes on the process of trying to make money on the Internet is useful here and there from a literary perspective. Anything more than that – or less literary than that, must simply come from another source.

17:31

I look at the notes from the last 26 months, and I say to myself: Look at it not as a story of developing success or as a series of failures, look at with a single question on your lips: Has the scribe done his duty and faithfully made notes about this latest period in the life of the human, “Brand Smit”?

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Problem with my ambition to become a successful marketer

TUESDAY, 1 APRIL 2008

I simply have to accept it: Something is amiss in my ambition to become a successful marketer. After two years, I know most of the tricks, loopholes, “secret” techniques, systems, steps, trends, and so on, but I am not moving one inch forward!

I want the money; that’s for sure. And heaven knows I’ve collected enough material to know what I should do.

I wrote a lot of notes and essays on many topics before starting with this marketing business. I get paid to have conversations with Taiwanese adults, so communication shouldn’t be a problem. And I have learned to register domain names and build websites.

So, what is my problem with Internet marketing?

Write thirty articles a week on whatever is the latest fad; fill a dozen blogs with the same boring content as dozens of other blogs; write e-books on topics about which you don’t need to know much because it’s so easy to fake it; bookmark your own web content to fool search engines into indexing your content quicker.

If other people produce good quality content for me, I can consider managing certain projects. But I’ll be stuck at square number zero forever if I’m going to force myself to do things that I cannot possibly commit myself to.

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Faith and disillusionment – honest appearance

Fall in, it’s already TUESDAY, 8 JANUARY 2008.

To be without hope, and without faith, is almost as bad as to be without love.

WEDNESDAY, 9 JANUARY 2008

I just remembered what I wrote a few months ago: “Fight for the fighting spirit, for the sake of fighting for the fighting spirit.”

Why? Why do you get back on your feet after a disappointment or a setback?

You get back on your feet, because what else are you going to do? Give up? Grow old within weeks, suddenly sick, annoyed, in the mood for nothing?

Fuck that. Count me in for another round.

SATURDAY, 12 JANUARY 2008

I am my own biggest fan, friend, counsellor, comrade … but, and this is not easy to admit, I am also my own biggest obstacle on the road to success.

TUESDAY, 15 JANUARY 2008

The day comes when an idea hits you, and from that day on your life is marked by choices made to realise this idea. Sometimes the journey is long and tiring – as journeys often are. When you reach an intersection you sometimes think you know the right way; other times you are not so sure. Every now and then, a marker is exposed – in a shrub, or in a forest, under a tree or erected on top of a heap of stones. Maybe another twenty kilometres, the deeply-etched letters in dark ink inform you. Just so you know.

THURSDAY, 21 FEBRUARY 2008

The most honest appearance you will ever make is when you only appear to yourself.

Problem is, if you only ever appeared to yourself, your chances of experiencing what can be described as happiness will be slim. Whether you will feel as if your life has any meaning is also a moot point. So, to experience happiness and give meaning to your life, you appear to other people.

How important is honest appearance – for you? How can honest appearance be defined? Can you experience happiness if your appearances are not honest? Can your life have value if your appearances are not honest? (I think it can.) Can you have an awareness that your life is meaningful if your appearances are not honest? Can you be conscious of your life being meaningful if your life does not mean anything to anyone, but your limited appearances are honest?

FRIDAY, 14 MARCH 2008

A personal struggle sometimes revolves around a single matter, and sometimes multiple issues flow together in a single struggle.

My personal struggle, at first glance, is to become financially independent. But beneath the surface it seems as if the struggle for financial independence is only the latest battleground in a larger struggle.

This larger struggle revolves around faith and disillusionment.

I always want to believe. But in the dark corridors of my being slumbers the expectation of disillusionment.

That is my struggle.

FRIDAY, 28 MARCH 2008

Is it not strange that you sometimes compose your best love poems, and your most beautiful love letters, for persons that eventually, in the long term, do not matter that much to you? That you sometimes dedicate your best, your most inspired love literature to those who are far, far removed from the One Great Love?

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Conflict with myself – trapped in a reclusive existence

MONDAY, 19 NOVEMBER 2007

“He has it in him to become successful, but does he have it in him to be successful?” ~ part of a conversation in my head

MONDAY, 26 NOVEMBER 2007

It is like I am always in conflict with myself. One part is almost autistic – he just wants to sit in his own little corner where everything is familiar, where each little dust ball is in its place. Nothing should ever change.

The other part is ambitious. He wants to improve things; he wants things better. He is impatient, and endlessly frustrated with the guy in the corner.

TUESDAY, 27 NOVEMBER 2007

Themes for a writing project:

– moral compromises, and the situations that give rise to them

– life as struggle, and then you rest

– living with the consequences of your own catastrophic mistakes or failures

– knowing what might happen (in theory, according to CNN, newspapers, etc.) and living every day as if it won’t happen

TUESDAY, 18 DECEMBER 2007

I can take losing. A pain that I would like to avoid as much as possible, though, is disillusionment.

MONDAY, 31 DECEMBER 2007

That I mention this on the last day of 2007, is incidental.

An overview of the year in yesterday’s Taipei Times reminded me that I have succeeded to a large extent in one of my visions for the future in 1994: I have become a recluse. That I go out to teach a few classes every week, and to be with Natasja make it a little less obvious, but not much further from the truth.

There are cultural events in this city, plays, performances, art and museum exhibitions, but for years I have been trapped in a reclusive existence, a reduced reality if any sociologist or psychologist has ever hoped for another case study, full of energy and focus, busy with some project, some struggle.

Is it absolutely necessary for things to be like this?

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Everything is a gamble – including life in North Korea

MONDAY, 8 OCTOBER 2007

I recently had the insight that it is very difficult to make money, a) if you don’t have a target list of prospective clients, b) if you don’t have any partners, c) if you don’t have a product of your own that you can market with the help of affiliates, and d) if you don’t invest at least some money in pay-per-click ads or other paid advertising. The idea that you just can fill a space on the Internet with text and a few affiliate links that say “Click here for more information” is nice but completely unrealistic.

* * *

Besides so-called Internet marketing, I have developed an interest in sports betting as a way to make money. How do I justify risking precious time and financial resources on activities to which I have had almost no exposure until recently? The way I see it, everything is a gamble.

A so-called permanent job is a risk you take: You place a bet against any large-scale layoffs in the near future, and you place a bet on how profitable the company is, how well the company is doing in the stock market, how well the company is managed, and other factors that are totally beyond the control of you and the company. You also take a chance with your own business, like a series of pottery products or a coffee shop. Marketing other people’s products on the Internet is also a risk you take: You place a bet that enough people will visit your website, then click on a link, and then buy something while the piece of code on their computer that will give you credit for the fact that they bought something is still active.

You put time and money on the table, and you hope for the best. In the case of a full-time job, you are influenced by social convention that says, “Everyone gets a job, and then you get a salary, and after five years a promotion and everything works out fine.” In the case of Internet marketing, you base your risk on the advice of some expert (real or not) who says do this or do that, or go to this site or work with that platform and then your dividend will be this much per day or per week or per month or per year.

Every way you try to make money is a gamble, and every industry has its so-called experts. Sports betting, horse racing and other such activities are simply gambling stripped of the thin layer that makes other things look a little less like gambling.

Every person has to decide at the end of the day where the best bet lies for him or her, how much they are willing to risk, and how much they are willing to lose.

* * *

A few days ago I watched two documentaries about North Korea. A few remarks: North Koreans work with the reality with which they were born. They cannot function as if they were, for example, Americans who were born in Chicago, because it simply would not be conducive to the continuance of their daily existence. They speak Korean; they recite their oaths of loyalty to the Dear Leader; they work, eat, sleep, take part in mass performances, marry, have children, laugh, cry, suffer; they enjoy the small things in life, and the fellowship of friends and family; they avoid criticising the government or the authorities, or the Dear Leader’s height or weight or hairstyle; and then they die.

WEDNESDAY, 24 OCTOBER 2007

From the Complete Memoirs of Jacques Casanova: “If you have not done anything worthy of being recorded, at least write something worthy of being read.”

SUNDAY, 28 OCTOBER 2007

If 60% of my results are bad, I accept it, and I am happy with the 40% that is good.

If 60% of my results are good, I complain about the 40% that is bad, believing the bad part spoils the good part.

I better work on that, fast.

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