Could certainly have been expected after all these years. I ran out of words. Or I had to buy new words, but I forgot. Or I ordered some words, but the container ship sunk. Or the train derailed. Or the plane ran out of gas.
Previously I talked about what had been done. But that’s done now.
Or I talked about what was going to be done.
Or I told anecdotes of anger, sadness, joy, fear, and embarrassment.
But everyone gets angry. Sad things happen. Joy is wonderful. Fear is a pest, and embarrassment is a waste of time. Most of the time.
Best of all, I look forward to next year. I think it will be an exceptionally good year.
We took old Fat Guy to the vet for the last time yesterday afternoon, Wednesday, 10 November 2021.
He vomited badly in August. We thought it was the end. He’s fifteen years old this year, so we had been thinking for quite a while he may not be with us for another year.
However, he recovered quickly, jumped on the furniture again, ate his usual amount of food, and so on.
Sunday, 3 October, he had a similar bout of throwing up. This time it was worse. We didn’t think he was going to see the end of the day. The next morning, I saw a dead pigeon on the sidewalk. “Death is in the air,” I thought.
We took him to the vet in the afternoon, and after a cursory physical examination and a blood test, the vet declared that he had kidney disease, and that he only had a twenty percent chance of recovering. We left him at the clinic for three days to get some fluids. There was no certainty that he would come home again.
Three days later we brought him back. He was uncertain on his feet, and after a few rounds through the apartment decided on the floor to the left of the bed in the master bedroom as his last domain.
That’s where he stayed for the next five weeks.
We took him back to the vet every two days for fluids and the occasional vitamin injection.
Some days he ate well and drank enough water; some days he just stared ahead and slept. The first week of November, I told the vet’s assistant that he was stable, walking around a bit, and that I had seen him eat and drink a few times. He didn’t always make it to the cat litter, and he leaked a bit, so his sleeping area had to be cleaned regularly.
Sunday, 7 November 2021 was the first time we saw blood in his faeces. And not a little. It was bad.
By Tuesday, he was no longer eating. It also got cooler again, and luckily, he didn’t get up to lie down on the cold tiles when we put him on a cloth towel for comfort with some paper towels for hygiene.
We took him to the vet again, and again touched on the subject of euthanasia.
We decided on either Wednesday or Friday. An article on the Internet quoted a veterinarian as saying that giving an animal its final injection is one of the easiest aspects of his job, as he brings relief to a terminally ill animal. He also said it was one of the last expressions of compassion the owner could give to a beloved pet.
By Tuesday night, I suggested that we don’t postpone any longer. Natasja let the vet know early the next morning.
I’m a bit of a weakling with these matters. When we decided the hour had come, I picked him up from the floor and put him in his cat carrier for the last time. He just murmured a little.
At the vet we took him out and placed him on the table. I caressed his head a few more times … and then decided to step away.
The vet gave him an anaesthetic, and about three seconds later his head dipped. Then, with a larger syringe with yellow-orange fluid in his hand, the vet asked us if we were sure we wanted to continue. We nodded. Then he injected him. I walked away to the sink.
We stood around for a few minutes. The staff spoke. Natasja spoke. The vet spoke. I asked how long it would take before it was over. Natasja asked more specifically how long it would take for his heart to stop. The woman we spoke to the most said that it was over. His heart had already stopped.
We draped one of his favourite blankets over him. The staff placed his body in a new cardboard box and explained the cremation process.
We paid the necessary fees and thanked everyone for their help.
And drove home with the empty cat carrier.
A pet is one of those things that makes life worth living – specifically the sadness, and the loneliness, and the worries that are sometimes part of one’s everyday existence.
I’m a big fan of positive thinking – believing you can do something if you put in the effort.
But sometimes it feels right to be a Devil’s Advocate, to simply say: It’s not going to work; you’re going to waste your time. Or: the probability is very slim that something will be a success.
Someone will then remind me – of all people – of the power of positive thinking.
The Devil’s Advocate reply: It is perfectly accurate to point out what you can accomplish with the right mindset. But are you aware that success with a particular business requires a massive amount of work? Are you aware that you will have to spend a thousand or more hours on it before you see any returns? Are you ready to focus on it like a steel-cutting laser beam? Are you willing to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on it?
This is what positive thinking means in practice: To believe that something is already a reality, so much so that you only have to reach out and seize it. And if you believe in it so much, you will spend any amount of time on it, with laser focus and no effort saved, and you will think nothing of spending a serious amount of money on it.
Positive thinking is a force to be reckoned with. But you must be able to prove and show that your thinking is more than just words.
If you can’t do that, then your business is doomed to failure.
And let’s be honest: On how many projects in your life are you really going to put in a thousand hours of hard work? On how many businesses are you going to spend at least months of your life, and hundreds or thousands of hard-earned dollars?
In my late twenties and early thirties, I had a problem with the fact that the talented poet, or the lyricist, or the musician couldn’t pay rent, take care of himself, or afford to get married and start a family if he doesn’t produce work for which people are willing to pay – no matter how brilliant his work is.
The question is, who should pay the poet or lyricist or musician’s rent, take care of him, and enable him to get married and start a family if he can’t do it himself? The government? What will the government demand in return? Will the artist still have creative freedom? Will the poet still be able to criticise the government in his poetry? Will the songwriter still be able to defy the head of state with her lyrics?
I wrote a few poems in my twenties and thirties. I considered it valuable work. I knew it would never make money, but I was hoping it would be read.
So, what did I do as a poet and writer in a free market, liberal democracy? I registered a domain name, developed a website, and published some of my writing on it. Then I formatted my poetry in a Word document, and published it myself in two digital formats, and in so-called print-on-demand format. I also made it available for free on some major websites.
As I expected, I sell few copies, but what would I rather see – a government that forces people to read it?
Main themes of Covid-19/SARS-COV-2 [with text added on Sunday, 20 June 2022]:
1. The deadliness of the virus [Specifically, how deadly is it for people under 18 with no other serious medical conditions? People between 18 and 30 with no other serious medical conditions? People between 30 and 49 with no other serious medical conditions? Between 50 and 65? Over 65?]
2. The source of the virus [Wet market in Wuhan? Lab in Wuhan? A cave somewhere in China possibly months before January 2020?]
3. Lockdowns [Where did the idea of the lockdown come from? Why did governments decide one after another to implement lockdowns? On what did they base their decisions – a very important question since they must have known it was going to have severe adverse consequences for the economy and for the normal functioning of society, including children’s education? Were restrictions and lockdowns seen as legitimate measures to deal with a pandemic in the years before Covid-19, seeing that there had been other pandemics? What other measures had governments already worked out that were shelved when China started their lockdowns?]
4. Masks, social distancing, and other measures to prevent spread [How effective are non-surgical masks in preventing the spread of airborne viruses? What physical and psychological effects does the prolonged wearing of masks day in, and day out have on people, especially children?]
5. Vaccines [How long does it usually take before vaccines are approved? Why does it take this long? Has there ever been cases of vaccines that were initially approved but then pulled from the market after side-effects kicked in that didn’t show up in tests? Does the current batch of vaccines have any side-affects? Are the vaccine manufacturers legally liable for serious adverse health effects caused by their vaccines?]
6. Vaccine mandates and vaccine “passports” [Is it morally justifiable to force people to get an injection if they can provide reasons why they are at higher risk of injury from the vaccine than from the virus itself? Is it morally justifiable to force people to get injections of vaccines that have not gone through the usual procedures to test their efficacy and long-term safety?]
7. “Long Covid” [How do people differentiate between the long-term effects of Covid and other causes, like changes in fitness routine, diet, and other lifestyle habits? How do people know whatever they’re feeling is not just because of negative expectation and confirmation bias?]
23:06
Idea proposed by some fairly intelligent people: If 1) there is a massive incentive to cheat in an election, 2) people know there is a high probability of them getting away with it, and 3) there is a variety of ways to cheat, it is almost 100% certain that there will be cheating.
In a similar vein the following questions can be asked: 1) Are there people with access to a variety of resources – from media and capital to political power, with possible international connections – who see themselves as natural leaders of society, regardless of public opinion or public support for them? 2) If such people exist with access to a variety of resources, would it be outrageous to think that they have certain ideas and suggestions for how the population and society in general should be managed? (It is possible that they believe their ambitions would serve the interests of humanity, and in such a way justify it to themselves.) 3) If there are such people with numerous resources and even political power at their disposal, with a particular set of ideas for society, how likely is it that they would pass up the excellent opportunity a global emergency such as a pandemic would present to implement their chosen policies and put certain mechanisms in place?
FRIDAY, 8 OCTOBER 2021
My position on the Covid-19 vaccine on Friday, 8 October 2021 at nine minutes past ten in die evening: I now have even more questions about the vaccines than last week, and I’m even more sceptical that this is the big solution. On the other hand, I am reluctant to go to South Africa to visit my family (immediate family, ten people who all had Covid with the exception of one niece and all thankfully survived) without being vaccinated first. Why? I still accept that the vaccines will increase the chance that you will experience milder symptoms if the virus does bite you.
TUESDAY, 12 OCTOBER 2021
A crystallised belief: Getting vaccinated against Covid-19 is a personal choice. To discriminate against someone who makes a personal choice about not getting a vaccine about which there is still uncertainty, that offers limited protection, and that can lead to serious adverse effects, is unreasonable, and unfair. Insisting on knowing someone’s vaccination status before they can enjoy civil rights is a disregard for the person’s civil rights; it is also immoral and should be illegal in any country or community organised according to reasonable laws and principles.
