More notes on the adult life

MONDAY, 14 JUNE 2021

I wrote a piece in 2015 about the trifecta of adult life: married, two children, financial independence. I want to add two things:

1. Legacy – it matters what you leave behind. The film magnate, Harvey Weinstein, was married, had at least two children, and was very wealthy. But he was a scumbag who forced women to have sex with him – or confronted them with extremely difficult choices. This, not his marriage or his children or his money or dozens of movies, is his legacy.

2. Not a requirement, but it can make up for the absence of another item: Did you lead an interesting life? Did you visit interesting places? Did you meet people from different cultures and backgrounds? Did you take risks, even after you failed?

FRIDAY, 18 JUNE 2021

One man married in his late twenties, had three children, had a happy marriage, ran his own business, and enjoyed financial success – annual vacations, including trips abroad, with the whole family, and later with his grandchildren. At 68 he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and he died after two years of unsuccessful treatment.

Another man married in his late thirties. Their marriage is also happy but has produced no children. He invests time and money in various endeavours, but financial independence has eluded him thus far. Despite the fact that there is never money for extravagance, he and his wife live comfortably. At 68, he is still healthy, except for some arthritis in his knees, and in his one hand.

Now, the million-dollar question: Who’s the winner?

Or should both be grateful for their blessings?

WEDNESDAY, 23 JUNE 2021

Working on my own projects is an expression of my faith in a better future. If I stop believing my own projects could give me a better future … I would have to find something else to put my faith in. This is what has driven me since 2006 … since 2003 … since 1997/8 … to become financially independent. I have spent more time and energy on this than on anything else in my adult life.

That might be why I could never accept a position where I would have seen myself as just a cog in the machine. What would have driven me forward? That I could pay rent at the end of the month and buy groceries? That’s just survival! To work on something that can give me financial independence – financial independence! – is to have faith. It is to be pushed forward with a vision for the future.

Am I rather a poor believer – or a believer who can pay rent and buy groceries, and have some savings in the bank – than a comfortable cog in the machine who doesn’t believe my life is ever going to get much better?

Belief in something I cannot see is woven into my psyche. Working on something that can improve my life is a ritual that confirms my faith.

Plus, it increases the likelihood of success.

[Must add that there are certainly people who are “just cogs in the machine”, and if they don’t do it, someone else will, but after work and on weekends they also work on their own projects, which they also hope will give them a better future. I sometimes tend to think in black and white.]

MONDAY, 28 JUNE 2021

I believe in something.

When I work on what I believe in, I prove that my faith is genuine.

When I work on it, I am actively realising what I believe in.

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