Assorted Notes

MONDAY, 28 JUNE 2004

00:02

Children are the easiest “result of a life” to produce. The hard part comes afterwards.

00:09

Parents – in the ideal parent-child scenario – leave children behind as a result of their lives. Business people generate profit and leave businesses behind. Entrepreneurs and inventors leave products behind. Artists leave art behind. Writers leave books behind. Architects leave buildings behind. Civil engineers leave infrastructure behind. Revolutionaries leave behind new political dispensations.

And then there is the revolutionary who also leaves behind children, the inventor who leaves behind children and profit, the writer who builds up a successful commercial enterprise from which many people can benefit until long after he has moved on …

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SUNDAY, 27 JUNE 2004

Prove your … no, prove the SELF

Two dozen foreigners sit around tables full of beer and food, eyes focused on a big screen with live rugby. The man himself sits practically with his nose pressed against the screen as he thinks with his mouth full of fresh pizza: “It’s good to be around people again. The proof of the pudding is, after all … no wait, the proof of self is, after all, in the eating … no, not that either, the proof of self is in appearing!”

The formula that leads to result

What is the difference between me and Joseph Stalin, or between me and Bill Gates? The difference is results of our lives.

Joseph Stalin, Bill Gates and I were all born in particular places at particular times, within communities with particular needs. If Stalin were born in 1979 instead of 1879, in the same town in Georgia, with a relatively similar domestic situation (adjusted for 1979 reality), his life would have produced different results. The same can be said if I were born in 1771 and not in 1971. The importance of fate data – where you were born, when, and as whose child, and events later in your life about which you have no control, or did not have control – and the needs of the community can NEVER be underestimated as factors contributing to the final results of a particular person’s life.

The only other factor that plays a significant role is choices. Stalin chose against the path that would have led to him becoming a priest, and chose in favour of joining Lenin and the Bolsheviks. So I have chosen, for example, against whatever employment I could have obtained in South Africa and opted in favour of teaching English in Taiwan to keep myself alive. The choices Joseph Stalin had made had a dramatic impact on who and what he became, and on the results he produced of his existence. The choices I have made so far in my life have also had a dramatic impact on who I am at the present moment, and on the results that I have so far produced of my existence.

The following formula can thus be suggested: RESULTS OF YOUR LIFE = FATE + NEEDS OF THE COMMUNITY + PERSONAL CHOICES.

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FRIDAY, 25 JUNE 2004

[A term had by this time entered my consciousness that had me so excited that I was almost friendly with a taxi driver one afternoon. Before I continue using it, allow me to once again explain the meaning.

The “given self” is a convenient term to describe the significant impact certain factors – such as genetics, cultural background, language, and time and place of birth – have on what and who an individual is, long before he or she learns big words like “identity”, “self-awareness” or “purpose of my existence”. The “given self” is thus a personal reality, years before the individual begins to ask critical questions such as “Who am I?” and “Who do I want to be?”]

To reach the level of personal development I call ENLIGHTENMENT, the specific aspects of who you are must first be confronted and accepted to a large extent. The GIVEN SELF can never fully be replaced with the ENLIGHTENED SELF, or any other form of self that can be regarded as more “my own” and therefore more “real”. The GIVEN SELF – or aspects of it – exists until the moment of physical death.

* * *

The Given Self – the product of, among other things, so-called fate factors like gender and time and place of birth, and strongly influenced by the person-model held up as the most appropriate considering fate factors and cultural values and needs of the community – can be manipulated by alternative person-models.

One example is the young woman from a conservative family who, in her early twenties, leaves her home in a small rural town for the big city where she transforms herself after a few years into a flamboyant actress. A more radical example would be the person who is born as a man, who then undergoes surgery, marries and lives out the rest of his/her life as a woman. A less dramatic example is the case of a man from a Calvinist background, who at one point was regarded as someone who might serve the spiritual needs of his community as a pastor or reverend, but who then as an adult leaves the country of his birth to seek a better life (and improved identity) on a different continent, with images of ancient philosophers and long-deceased writers who serve as his alternate self-models.

What happens is that the individual confronts the given building blocks of who and what he or she is. If this existential moment is reached, the person can once again look at the world around them and ask themselves (again) two questions: “Who am I?” and “Who do I want to be?” Physical limitations of the Original or then Given Self that cannot be changed, as well as particularity of origin (time and place of birth, as well as socio-economic background and all the other things already listed), must necessarily be accepted.

The moment the person reaches the point when they state that they see their given building blocks, that they accept what they never had a choice about and what they (really) cannot change (whether they want to or not), they will have arrived at a new appreciation of themselves in their particular environment – IF, that is, they believe in the potential to transform themselves, albeit still within the framework of actual given constraints.

* * *

To confront what you’ve been given, to recognise it, and to believe in the astonishing possibilities that are within the reach of a relatively intelligent person are vital elements of the Process of Rebirth – and possibly, albeit not necessarily, the birth of the ENLIGHTENED SELF.

* * *

By the way, what does it mean when someone says he’s a “born again Christian”? It means that he has “crucified” his “old self”, with a “new self” taking the place of the old. Naturally it is assumed that the “new self” is better and cleansed of the “sin” of the “old self”. The faith community also expects that this person – the newly converted – should, in fact, be his “new self”, to lend credibility to his claim of being “born again”. Philosophically and as a literary concept, it is brilliant, and colourful …

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FRIDAY, 25 JUNE 2004

(How little can you know about yourself and still function, as an adult, within the limits of what is considered “normal” by society?)

Without people, no community can exist. Without sufficient numbers of men and women, and people with different talents and abilities, no community can stay healthy and prosper.

The Community – the body of people who share a set of cultural, linguistic and other values in a particular place – provide the individual with a (sometimes temporary) working identity/self-model composed of birth data, cultural data, and as the years go by, needs of that particular community at that particular time. Most people accept this GIVEN model of who and what they are – to varying degrees, but the required minimum quota of acceptance is reached among the population for the community to at least remain standing.

What then of those people who are sceptical and critical, who are always scratching around for answers to questions many regard as unnecessary; people for whom it seems a lifetime ambition to discover the formulas of how things work, people who do not want to accept things as they currently are? Ultimately, the Community can also not remain standing without the contribution of these people – including some scientists, psychologists, sociologists, historians, philosophers and academics from other fields, writers, poets, artists and musicians.

The primary contribution of these individuals is to provide people with ideas through which they might develop a better understanding of their existence. These individuals must also serve as a counterweight to irrational group politics, and associated violent movements that provide people in uncertain times with a firmer understanding of who and what they are, what their roles in society should be, and how the value and meaning of their lives ought to be interpreted. Of course, there are intellectuals who themselves are guilty of driving destructive ideologies into the minds of people. For precisely this reason, it is vital to promote constructive ideas, and to encourage the advocates of these ideas.

Intellectuals take it upon themselves to make members of the wider community aware of the destructive nature of certain beliefs, ideologies and related movements. They also play a leading role in the process of distinguishing between what keeps Civilised Society anchored in soil fertile for growth and progress, and what causes it to tear apart at the seams.

———–

[How much does the “ordinary” man or woman on the street understand of what causes their community to tear apart at the seams? And at what point should the Intellectual Vanguard in the Battle for Healthy Society jump on their soapboxes?

I believe that if most working adults are too busy to contemplate supposedly more academic issues such as the relationship between language and “truth”, they probably would be too busy to see Rome fall around them – which, as most people know, never happens in one day.

Intelligence is not what is relevant here – a medical doctor is not necessarily smarter than a chemical engineer because he understands why the latter’s stomach keeps aching. So, too, with the Intellectual Vanguard, whose interests and passion for certain issues sharpen their eyes to see things before they become painfully obvious to everyone, and possibly too late.]

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WEDNESDAY, 23 JUNE 2004

Four years ago, I also thought of myself as a writer, but on a daily basis, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night, I was, for all practical purposes, my income-generating profession. What was this income-generating profession? I was an English teacher who, in all honesty, mostly failed in the job I was hired to do, five days a week. I thought of myself as a writer, and I did write (the entire “Personal Agenda: Book One” is proof), but I did not have the confidence in myself and my identity that I have now. I was, to a large extent, an unfulfilled, frustrated person, because I was unfulfilled and frustrated in my job.

Five hundred years ago in Europe – during the pre-industrial era, the position of the family in the feudal hierarchy was one of the key determinants of personal identity, at least as far as the community was concerned in whose midst the person found him- or herself. The economic role a person had to fulfil (if it were necessary at all for him or her to perform any kind of labour) was also linked, to a significant degree, to birth.

It can therefore be said that identity in Europe 500 years ago was largely dictated by chance – where the person was born, and the position of his or her family in the feudal hierarchy, and also by the needs of the community – which, together with parentage, determined the person’s economic role.

Since the voyages of discovery and the subsequent economic, political, scientific and industrial revolutions, profession has entered the arena as an additional and crucial determinant of identity. People who live out their lives in the industrialised world have, to some extent, a choice of what role they want to play in the community, which specific needs of the community they want to fulfil, and even where they want to play this role and fulfil these needs, or in what community. Financial ability can also be mentioned as a further factor affecting people’s view of themselves and how they define their identity. Money is also a great equaliser – stories of people who were born in the gutter and end up in palaces are still rare, but they do occur.

When it comes to the question of who you are, most people still look at the cards they were dealt that determine status and role in society – place of birth, gender, appearance and talents, socio-economic status of the family, and specifically in the case of adults, profession.

Most of these thoughts have already been noted in this literary project. What is the point of mentioning them again?

It was until recently a private pleasure for me to believe I expose the “truth” to people who have perhaps believed that a good job and lots of money are the best they can ever hope to strive for in life. I wanted to beckon such people closer, unlock a small antique box, and inside they would see a Greater Truth: “You do not know your TRUE self! What you are at this stage of your life is just a result of fate, your environment, and events that differentiate your life from that of the next person. You live under the illusion that you know who you are; an illusion that nevertheless enables you to function as an Individual in This Time and Place.”

The implication was that only when you look into your own soul and identify your “true self” can you finally claim full humanity, can you declare that you (finally) know who you “really” are. I thought that to discover – or to define – your “true self” was the Grand Prize at the end of a long and intensely personal journey.

However, new insights have started to undermine these views. (These fresh insights have also already been mentioned, but seeing that this touches on the topic of the value of a single human life, I reckon it is okay to revisit the issue.) What then, would I regard as more important than the discovery and defining of the “true self”? The answer: RESULTS OF YOUR LIFE.

We all arrive as small bundles of flesh and blood on this planet, we scream out our humanity to anyone who wants to hear, get older and bigger and eventually the day arrives when we leave the show. The question, at the final count, should not be whether you existed and functioned as your own True Self, but what results you leave behind from your time on this planet.

Has your life produced more positive than negative results? Will the world breathe a sigh of relief when you finally utter your last words? Have you only endeavoured to satisfy your own needs, and to be as happy as possible for as long as possible? Is it important for you to leave behind positive results of your existence? What, indeed, are positive results? These are questions that every person can and should answer for him or herself.

I have discovered a few principles and implemented a few measures that make it possible for me to function as a fairly normal adult in the world and time in which I was born. I have also discovered that life outside my apartment door is to a large extent a game and that if you manage to decipher the rules and reconcile yourself to these rules to a satisfactory degree, it may just be possible for you to lead a happy life, and to declare at the end of it that your life was worth living.

Yet, if I have the option, I would want to live my life as a conscious effort to achieve more positive than negative results that I can leave behind, rather than to just know I was happy, and that my life was worth living, or even that I succeeded in finding my “true self”. (What is the value of a highly developed awareness of your own self, if it is not ultimately conducive to leaving behind positive results from your time on this planet?)

Can one go further and ask about the results of every day? Every week? Okay then, the average results of every year? Can you purchase “positive results” shortly before the end of your life? Who determines the quality of these results? And what is the possibility that the beauty of a single day or even a single moment can get lost in the rush to leave behind a positive legacy of your existence?

Regardless of what you believe about the value and meaning of your own life, or about what makes your life worth living, regardless of the weight you attach to results of your life, one thing remains: YOUR LIFE WILL ULTIMATELY PRODUCE RESULTS. Whether these results will be more positive than negative depends to a large extent on yourself and the choices you make on a daily basis.

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