Assorted Notes

WEDNESDAY, 25 MARCH 2015

On Friday, 13 March and Saturday, 14 March I made notes on the problem of having too many projects.

The last few days I’ve been thinking again about my failures, most notably the overall failure to generate a more decent income, and about my few successes – especially my writing, which, if it were commercially successful, it wouldn’t have been necessary to make this note.

This brings me to a question I have reflected on so many times that some professionals might say I am obsessed with it. Two things stand out as reasons why I am stuck on my current income:

1) Since 2006 I have continued a trend that started in 1999, and that is to take on too many projects (as I have already mentioned).

2) I don’t have good systems in place to manage these projects and even have them run 90% on auto-pilot.

At first I thought it was one reason or the other, but then I realised even if you only have one business or project, if you don’t have a good system to manage it, it will not be successful in the long run. And even if you have a good system for one or two different projects, you cannot continue taking on projects because good systems don’t fall out of the sky when you need them – they usually take time and effort and perhaps money to develop.

Thus, for each project or income-generating endeavour you take on, a well thought-out system is required to increase the probability of success to at least 50% if not better.

Thus, two: Good systems take time, effort and probably money to develop. You should therefore refrain from taking on projects if you do not have a good system to manage a new project and eventually put it on auto-pilot (if possible).

Thus, three: Focus on developing good systems, then work one project after another into the system machine, and then consider paying someone as supervisor or assistant to make sure the machine runs well.

______________________

WEDNESDAY, 18 MARCH 2015

The word epiphany cannot be tossed about anytime you like. If I therefore say that “A few pleasant and unpleasant truths” from Friday, 13 March 2015 increasingly looks like an epiphany, I am clearly in a serious mood.

It also makes me feel like I’m in trouble. I have allowed myself to be seduced dozens of times over the years by optimism and faith in my own abilities. “Hey, that looks like something I can do!” was usually followed up with action without thinking about it too much. And before I could save myself from the edge of the abyss, I had started yet another project, committed myself to yet another job – more interesting books stacked in the proverbial bag that I couldn’t throw over my shoulder anymore.

I see other people who take on similar projects walk past me. “Good luck!” they shout over their shoulders as I taste their dust on a dry tongue. “Maybe your luck will turn one of these days!” someone else might add as an afterthought.

I am my own biggest resource. I am also the biggest obstacle on my road to success.

______________________

MONDAY, 16 MARCH 2015

In your bleaker moments you often think things that are a bit rough. Then, when you feel better, you realise how many of those things are actually true.

In my case: In the first place, I will never be mistaken for a Viking warrior. Can I protect myself or my loved ones in a moment of danger? I don’t know. Secondly, I am almost 44 years old, and although I have no debt, I also don’t make much money with my few part-time jobs. Third place, I don’t have children, and will probably never have children. Four: I recently responded “Yes” 23 times to a list of 27 questions to determine if I qualify as a Highly Sensitive Person – which among other things means I am more prone to physical pain, and can even be affected emotionally by a loud noise. (None of the questions were about fear of heights, but I could have added that as well.) Point five: My parents and my sisters think I am a lost cause who was fortunate to meet a good woman. Six: I struggle for years to make money with a variety of projects … and the struggle continues still.

What to do? What are my options?

One is suicide. Get it over and done with. Make room for someone else, perhaps someone better.

Another possibility is to work really hard and to turn one view of you after another on its head and force people to eat their words and their opinions. Sounds nice. Could work.

Yet another possibility is to pretend not all the bad things about you are true, that you’re not that much of a loser. While deliberately ignoring some things, you continue your efforts to improve those things that are in your power to improve.

Difficult to pretend, you might say. Not easy to ignore what many people think or say about you, someone might add.

Think about it this way: one alternative is to step in front of a train.

______________________

SATURDAY, 14 MARCH 2015

12:15

Like an insecure child who collects toys, I collect projects. And the “child” refuses to share his toys with other children, or to give some of it away, or to allow his mother to sell some of it at a church bazaar.

“I am going to play with it!” he’ll cry out, and fold his little arms tightly over his toys.

“When?” his mother would ask, exasperated.

“Tonight,” he would mutter. “Or tomorrow …”

“You know you’re never going to play with it, Johnny,” his mother will say. “You have too many toys!”

“But I was thinking …” Johnny would start, and then he’ll try to convince himself more than his mother that he still has great plans to play with all of his toys simultaneously one day.

12:24

My projects are like a bloated bureaucracy that threatens to undermine the state it is supposed to serve.

______________________

FRIDAY, 13 MARCH 2015

Most enterprises are doomed to fail.

Most investments never pay a dividend.

Most books are read by very few people.

Most websites get very little traffic.

Most new music is heard by relatively few people.

Optimism and faith sometimes propel you forward, and sometimes it leads to your downfall.

It should also be mentioned that if you launched a business venture and it becomes successful, the likelihood increases that your next venture will also be successful.

If you have made an investment and it turns a profit, chances are that you will repeat this success with your next investment.

If a book you have written is read by at least a few hundred people, the probability is strong that your next book will also be read by at least a few hundred people.

If you develop a website that regularly gets visitors, chances are your next website will also get decent traffic.

If you release some of your own songs and a few thousand people listen to it, chances are that these people will also listen to the next song you release, and maybe they will even tell other people about your music.

Success, after all, often generates more success, and if you have little of anything, you will probably have even less in the future.

______________________