FRIDAY, 25 DECEMBER 2020
I had to go to Costco this afternoon – on my own. As a matter of course I cast my mind back over the last twenty years in Taiwan.
I thought, among other things, what had been important to me all the way back in ’99, 2000 and 2001, namely the freedom to do what I wanted to do. And what I wanted to do was not waste time. In fact, I was deeply aware of the limited lifespans of us humans, or as one character in the 1999 cult classic, Office Space, put it: “Michael, we do not have a lot of time on this earth! We were not meant to spend it this way” (meaning in small cubicles, staring at computer screens.) Spending my time trying to teach primary school children English was literally and figuratively a case of me being on my way somewhere with people blocking the door, or pulling on my clothes, or challenging my authority when I just wanted them to keep quiet and sit still for one minute so I could get done what I needed to do so I could stretch my wings and fly away to the mountains.
One of the things I wanted to do was write. And not for fame or money. Writing was a coping mechanism. I felt better about my daily existence when I filled a few pages in my notebook, or on my computer – usually about my own life, and for no reader other than myself years later. I still write, but now mostly because it makes me happy – even when I write about politics. I always experience a mixture of relaxation (or relief) and euphoria when working on a piece of text.
The other thing I have realised over the last two decades – the golden penny that dropped, as it were, is that there isn’t a golden penny of secret knowledge that must drop before you can make enough money to lead a good life.
Or, if I want to properly confuse myself, there is a golden penny that needs to drop before you can start doing better. You need to discover what your relationship is with money, and you need to confirm your identity as someone who does have the ability to generate income. The fact is that most people from childhood receive poor or incorrect programming about money, and about making money. It sometimes takes half an adult life to identify this programming, and rewrite it line by line in your subconscious.
The key that can unlock the door to a better future is thus not only knowing that your current financial condition is to a large extent the result of the same thing that makes a computer function in a certain way, namely programming, but knowing that it is fully in your power to change this programming, to change your relationship with money, and to transform yourself into someone who is able to live the life you want to live.
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